Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘tikkun olam’

 

yesterday was one of the most surreal days in a long time.
the day started with excitement permeating the core of my being. i was stretching and looking for ways that i would move mountains. and for a few hours i believed that it was actually possible. i knew i could make the world a better place.
earlier steps were greeted with sweet successes. both of my sons met their own personal milestones. i found manageable tools to lessen my carbon footprint. my voice was heard and valued. i doodled, i wrote, and i dreamed.
the day progressed. . . .
as the afternoon raged on, pain oozed into my body. still i pushed because that is the gift i always have. i can always push forward. for the most part, i have been blessed with the ability to ignore physical and emotional strife….so I did.
late afternoon turned dark so very quickly. i couldn’t close my eyes to what was rumbling in my gut. beautiful activists were attacked as they nonviolently tried to make a difference. my son and i hit a wall that seems to be impenetrable.  and as the day wore on, the pain forced me to meet my shadow.
the day progressed. . . .
yet somehow things emerged in surprising ways. in spite of a bunch of comedy of errors, a challenging appointment worked two hours late. despite feeling disconnected from those i wanted to join, twitter made sure i wasn’t alone. twitter also helped keep my fear at bay while making sure i didn’t feel like a water logged island.
returning home, pain inched through my body and i started wondering if a water logged island would be easier than the crippling energies of people that attack by accusing those that believe differently.  all the while my gut was screaming that something is so wrong. . .i just didn’t and still don’t know what.
the day progressed. . . .
with each breath, i struggled as the lasso got tighter and tighter. spiritually a new set of realizations struck an unsuspecting chord. my spirit emerged to new realities. harsh and discerning words awakened me to some new and deep reflections. and just as i found a moment of reconciliation a sharp realization shattered my unsuspecting lungs.
each breath lead to new realities making sleep an impossibility. perhaps a new life force will lift my spirit at daybreak, but for now i will remain present with tears rolling down my face.
feeling silenced in nearly every aspect of life enables the hot tears to scorch my skin and help me forget that breathing isn’t optional.
waiting for the the sun to rise and a new day to remind me that one hard day can never destroy my spirit. i am alive and i will thrive. thriving is not optional either.
Oct 20 - sunrise Pantano Wash

Pantano Wash, Tucson Arizona

 

Read Full Post »

Sacred Vessel

“it was when she dipped deep inside,
and scooped out her very essence –
and then stretched her arms outwards
with her hands full of stars –
it was when those stars passed thru
her fingers and out to the world –
it was then she understood she was a sacred vessel.
that we are all sacred vessels –
with the entire universe flowing thru us –
and all we need to do is open and be.”
© Terri St. Cloudfrom https://www.bonesigharts.com/store/sacred-vessel

https://www.bonesigharts.com/store/sacred-vessel

Rewritten to honor where I am at this moment. A week off is leading to some empowering realizations and growth:

Moving Forward:
The treasured time between now and later.
Days, hours, minutes, pass. . . .each moment brings me closer to finding balance.
This is my opportunity to do a cheshbon hanefesh, an accounting of my soul.

I will never experience this passage of time again. While I am in awe of how I emerged with the love and devotion of many throughout every step of my life; I am also aware of how much I have learned to renegotiate life whenever needed. Thriving is a non-negotiable, yet I am, like each of us, navigating the gifts and challenges that have been part of my life; I am also celebrating how the tides turn and  the many ripples soothe my core at any given moment.

Now comes the holy work of grounding myself. Finding a new rhythm, processing the experiences of the last years. I am creating a my spiritual space in Houston and more importantly within my nefesh, my soul.  The work can be a little overwhelming, but incredibly sacred too.

Over the last year, I have felt like I was standing in quicksand on more than one occasion. And yet, I never went down. While the trek taught me a ton, it has also been hard at times. And yet, I stretched and I grew. . . how beautiful is that!

I love that I always find good within the challenges; I love that I find beauty in nearly every chapter of life. And yet, there is a cost.  As someone who is profoundly intense, I struggle to shut down and simply free my mind of all thoughts. Instead I actively engage in life by consciously going inward, reflecting, and healing; I also do what I can to make the world a better place by caring and loving others.

What does Moving Forward look like? I seem to be in a quieter place allowing for the silence to penetrate my being. Taking time to connect with people that want to see my soul; reading writings that touch my core; and writing from the deepest parts of my heart.

My body, my mind, and my soul is reaching for the stars, clearing the fog, and striving to settle into a new rhythm.

Emerging
Thriving, reaching, living
Becoming the woman I was always meant to be.
I am making it!

Inside and out – I am trusting each step as I reflect where I’ve been, where I am, and where I am going.

Onward – now & always,
Chava

Read Full Post »

“Connect us like the oceans;

Returning to the source,

You are the vast life-giver,

Purify us all. . .”

Written, composed and performed by Danya and Eyal Rivlin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E86gmNYsyiQ

The beauty of nature has always encouraged me to connect with the world that surrounds me.  My heart soars when I walk through a desert or in the mountains; my eyes tear when I see a tall redwood standing above me; my breathing becomes rapid when I hear the sounds of children laughing.  I love the world around me; I love life.  Oceans and lakes carry my soul and lead me to believe that each of us are part of the larger world.

Sometimes when I lack the time or energy to actively engage in nature, I wonder if I am merely a useless molecule in the larger world.  Of course, every atom makes a difference; I know that.  In so many ways, I know that I have a vast role in healing the larger world.  Still down deep I struggle to see myself as one who can make a difference.  I am so profoundly aware that my soul is crying to make do something for good.  My heart yearns to be a source of healing in the larger world. Even with my doubts, I must always continue to live my values which will ultimately contribute to creating a more healthy world for others.

Where did my drive come from?  I have no clue.  In truth, there are so many amazing people that I have noticed in the last 10 – 15 years.  I am exceedingly happy to follow in their footsteps, but also find myself wondering if I will ever be able to focus on any one or two causes.  And then I reflect further to realize there isn’t simply one cause that touches my soul.

In June 2010, the Gulf disaster inspired Danya and Eyal Rivlin to write and compose this above chant.  While the chant was actually written specifically for the Gulf Coast, I have actually found myself chanting the words again and again as a reminder that I am part of a vast life force that surrounds me.    I feel such gratitude to the chant that the Rivlins created; it quite honestly touches me at my core.  The words remind me that it is my soul’s work to remain connected to the larger world and also to remember that I am part of more than my little corner of the world.

This past week, as many of us noted the lunar eclipse.  People woke up or wanted to wake up in the middle of the night to experience a moment or a few hours of the very rare lunar eclipse.  My hope is that each of us can find ourselves touched by not only the once in a lifetime experiences, but the beauty of every day life.

Being present and conscious in much of what we do is the single most important way to make a difference in the larger world.  Most activists can’t only focus on one cause; I am no different.  Perhaps I need to focus strongly on one or two causes, but not forget the larger world that surrounds me.  There is so much work to be done.

With tears in my eyes, I feel enormously thankful to the world that surrounds me.  I love those people that have motivated others through engaging in their passions to make the world a better place.  I pray that I am a worthy of following those activists and teachers through my own actions and writings.  Each and every one of us can make a difference.

Hineini, here I am.

Read Full Post »