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Posts Tagged ‘struggles’

(Note: My world is exactly where it needs to be; my heaviness is not about my own personal journey in this moment, it is about the world around me.)

Those who know me deeply, know that my heart is full. I am blessed to feel intensely, love forever, and connect at a core level. My friends matter, their friends matter, and I care for those in my world and those in my loved one’s world. And if I am really honest, I can’t stop thinking about the larger world too.

For reasons of privacy, I won’t share any ‘real’ specifics. And in truth, the details probably don’t matter. What matters is that chances are that I am probably not alone when I say that each and every one of us are surrounded by people who are struggling.

Philadelphia doorways

This Photo of Philadelphia Tunnels/Doorways is given by courtesy of my beloved friend and fellow writer Wicca Davidson. I love how she captured this view. Wow.

All of us travel through passages that sometimes feel daunting. Life unravels in front of us and there is nothing we can do except open up our hearts and hold those we love and/or care for. Whether for ourselves or others, we can also take time to pray for healing for bodies, minds, and souls. AND we can visualize spirits surrounded by light too.

Years ago, when my father was dying, I realized that I praying for a specific outcome didn’t work. My father was going to take his last breath sometime in the coming days and I would no longer have him as an active part in my life. So, I had to find a way to send healing thoughts to his spirit and to let go of the impossible dream. More than anything I realized that I wanted my father to have inner peace and to know that he was loved.

Only after my dad passed did I slowly begin to understand that there was a power in finding the right right prayer. My prayers were unique to me in the same ways that yours are unique to you. For me, I actively visualize peace surrounding those in need. I understand that while I may want a specific outcome, I don’t always know the bigger picture. My job is to trust in the universe or perhaps God. I choose to let go of any preconceived notions of what life should look like. That doesn’t ALWAYS work, but I have learned to seek that people find healing and wholeness in the ways that best work for them. Lately though, it is easier said than done.

So many are struggle for health and wholeness. Each and every person is traveling their own individual journey. All I can do is send positive thoughts their way. Yesterday, I posted the following on Facebook:

Seeking a prayer that shares my light and blessings for all those I know who are going through some very significant challenges. The more I care, the more I realize that when I pray I always miss someone on my list of those in need of healing. I hate the feeling that I am missing someone each and every time I pray. ‪#‎NoMoreJewishGuilt 

What I know in this moment, is that I have to take a deep breath and just keep sending my healing energy into the world. I can only do the best I can do. And I can trust, that as long as I am sending positive vibes into the world around me. That’s all I can do.

We really can always pray/visualize.  I just have to trust that while I may miss saying someone’s name, as long I know that my intentions are to send positive energy to all in need, I can stop being so hard on myself and trust that energy will go where it needs to go.

May all of my prayers and positive thoughts penetrate the world around me. May those I know and those I don’t know experience wholeness. May each and every person’s spirit soar and personal wholeness reign.

And let us say. . . Amen.

 

 

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Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom. For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for others, it is a tool for exploring the kabbalistic teachings in an organized way. For me, it is a time to actively reflect on my Journey Towards Wholeness. The more I am whole, the more free I will become.  [http://t.co/dBPYjDxSGj . . . .]

If You Want to Be Happy Be 2

Quote by Leo Tolstoy

I believe that happiness is a choice. Nearly every day, I wake up and decide that today I will be happy. That doesn’t mean I am happy every  day or that I am happy when life challenges feel daunting, but it does mean that as a rule I choose happiness.

During the many months and years of my son’s illness and his long recovery, I learned to find the sweet moments that happened at every turn. Amazing friends, some fabulous doctors, and even the weather could give me moments of joy when all seemed impossible.

Walking through the world this way means that I will always find moments of joy even when life feels overwhelmingly hard.

The last 15 months have been full of challenges. Yet nearly every step of the way I have believed that all would be ok and for the most part it was. There were days and weeks that I found myself struggling with the finances of life and taking care of myself physically when my schedule was too grueling. The beautiful news was that:

  • My friends made it possible for me to stay afloat; they supported me at every step of the way. Some friends gave me work, others gave me money, and two gave my family their home.  All of our friends provided emotional support in their own unique ways.
  • I fell in love with care-giving and treasured the relationships that grew from my initial place of desperation. I learned to take care of people during the most vulnerable times of their lives.
  • Strangers walked into our family’s life and made a difference for good; and this is still true for today.
  • We learned new ways to live consciously.
  • Playing board games brought us hours of enjoyment.
  • My writing improved.
  • My dreams became more vibrant.
  • I made decisions about what was important to me and learned to trust myself more.
  • I found blessings wherever I turned.

Being whole means navigating life the best ways that we can. For me, it also means finding joy in the small stuff and seeking happiness with each step of life’s journey.

While I am always seeking happiness, not every day is as good as today has been.

Today, I am totally humbled and awed by the love and warmth I feel. To each of you that are celebrating my new position and my spirit – thank you! I would not have made it without you in my life.

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

(PS – Over the last couple of months, I have been thrilled to work with Lev Shalem Institute and hope to continue that work in some capacity of the coming months/years. And today, I am excited to share that as of July, I will be the Director of Congregational Learning for Temple Sinai in Houston. I feel like I may be going home.) 🙂

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Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom.  For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for me, it is a time to actively reflect on different middot (character traits) that will lead me to my own rebirth.

Middah (character trait) focus: Believe

 

Sometimes we need a reminder that we have what it takes to move forward. . .so I made my simple memento :)

Sometimes we need a reminder that we have what it takes to move forward. . .so I made my simple memento 🙂

Sometimes life gives you more than you think you can handle.  As an optimist, I often find the gifts in the challenges, but lately it is a little easier said than done.  I have blocks of time when the struggle feels a little more scary than I can handle.  And knowledge that the bills are barely getting paid is overwhelming.  Yet I am also lucky, my dark moods rarely stay that way for too long.  Mostly I believe that the sun will come out soon and life will get easier.  Seeing reminders that foster positive feelings can definitely be a good thing.

Last spring was a little rough.  Ironically at the the time, I did not know that things would get even more difficult – in retrospect that was probably a good thing.  Anyway one day during that time period, a friend of mine called and asked me what do I need as I walk through all that is going on.  My response was courage, strength, and hope; and just like that the words appeared.  So I used a postcard from my favorite cafe/bar, Cafe Passe, and I made a little memento as a reminder of what I need to walk through life.

May I always have the courage to do what I need to do, the strength to move forward, and hope as I navigate this journey.  With each step I take may I believe in myself and the universe; may this be true for you and your journey too!

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Each day is full of gifts and challenges; moments of joy and of sadness fill our beings.  Each day, we get to decide how to walk through our journeys.

For me struggling is absolutely a part of how I navigate the world.  I seek answers to questions both known and unknown.  I try to solve the world’s problems without a means of making a difference.  I open my eyes and ask others to do the same.  Living life is what I do. To live fully means that I have to grapple with both the pain and the beauty that exists with each step.

And the beauty does exist.  The mountains call to me wherever I walk.  I walk in peace.  Always.  I seek the beauty in each and every person that is part of my world whether for a moment or an hour or a year or a lifetime.  I have the ability to find the good even in those that are dark.  And each evening, the moon reminds me to stay grounded as I lay my head down to sleep.

People are inherently good and human too.  With that comes reality.  Over the years, I’ve come to believe even with the darkness that has sometimes surrounded me, I can find sparks of light.  That’s my job and there is no alternative.  While I have encountered dark people, I have been more blessed to find amazing people wherever I turn.  I have also been blessed to be able to turn darkness into light. That’s what I do!

SunriseSummerTucson

Finding the light amongst the clouds

May each and every one of us find the sparks of life in both the gifts and the challenges.

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(Note:  My hope is to write Omer Reflections as they come to me.  Life is full these days, I will do my best.)

Sabino Canyon's Road to Blessings

Sabino Canyon’s Road towards Liberation

For me, counting the Omer is about reflection.  Through the counting I actively work towards coming to grips with different parts of my essence while also looking at how I interact with the world around me. As we count the days from slavery to freedom, I reflect on the biblical journey from Pesach to Shavuot and I take an accounting of the slavery that surrounds me as I try to do my part to put slavery on a shelf that will one day become a mere memory.

There are seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot; each week has a big theme worthy of exploration with daily chapters that allow us to experience deeper discovery.  As in all philosophies, there is no one correct way of moving through this journey.

With each day, I can choose how I will do my dance of emergence.  In this week of chesed, loving-kindness, I get to decide how I will navigate all that is going on in my world.  There is nothing simple about my current journey.  With each breath I am struggling to figure out how I can live with integrity while I face personal and professional struggles.

In this moment, I am struggling. Yet I am standing firm in my commitment to live consciously and to face my journey with both an inner and outer loving-kindness.

As the day begins to wane, I am looking at the 5th day, Hod she b’Chesed, acceptance within loving-kindness. or perhaps withdrawing my ego in order to make room for true loving-kindness.  Life is what it is and yet I have many roles to play in making things work in the best possible way.

At this moment, my ego has evolved.  I no longer feel I have the answers as I once did.  With that in mind, it is my job to navigate the world with openness. I need to breathe in the goodness, breathe out the despair and allow the answers to life’s challenges to come as they can.  And while that is happening, I need to remain with chesed in my heart and in my being.

May I have the ability to trust the universe and allow all of the answers come in their right time.

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