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Posts Tagged ‘Shehecheyanu moments’

Life has been hard. Very hard. And yet. . . .

Photo courtesy of Janie Grackin Did you notice the butterfly? :)

Photo courtesy of Janie Grackin
Did you notice the butterfly? ūüôā

I am blessed that there are so few moments when darkness doesn’t allow me to see clearly.

Today I feel warmth from the amazing sparks that could easily burst into a flame.  There are so many gifts that surround me at any given moment.  And yes, there is also deep pain that is part of my life and part of the lives of so many people that I love.  But for now, I want to focus on the gifts.

My sons:

  • Today Aryeh and Dovi¬†went biking together for the first time in forever!!!! Now that may seem silly because they are 21 and 17 years old; yet for so many reasons, it really is quite amazing.
  • AND Dovi has asked for shorts so that he can be more comfortable biking; he hasn’t worn shorts in nearly 10 years. ¬†Now this is a shehecheyanu moment (a blessing that is recited when you do something for the first time in a long time or ever).
  • Dovi decided to excel in math and that is exactly what he is doing!
  • This week, we have had some incredibly sweet moments as a family.
  • Aryeh continues to amaze me in the way he takes care of everyone in the family; he is truly growing into a man! Wow.

Friends:

  • I love how my friends reach out and are totally present for me. ¬†As I type, one group of friends is trying to find ways to help me thrive emotionally; they are working towards creating options for me to make it through a challenging period of time.
  • A few different friends have found ways for me to support myself after losing my livelihood. Yay!
  • One friend just embroidered a bath-sheet with my name on it!!!! She even used my favorite colors. ¬†I can’t wait to see it and use it! ¬†(If you are curious, I love sage and lavender. . . but in truth all shades of purple are awesome.)
  • A couple of friends have given me great gifts when I wasn’t sure how I would move forward.
  • I am held by some profoundly loving souls.

Taking care of me:

  • I found a care-giving position that is giving me more normal hours so that I don’t have to work all-nighters.
  • I am on Day 8 of not drinking any sodas!!!!!
  • I am getting more hours of sleep than I had been getting previously; this week I have gone to sleep by 10 PM nearly every night.
  • I am taking time to write.
  • My blog reached 30,000 viewers today. ¬†Sometimes I even hear that my writing is inspiring those that take time to read my writings. YAY! ¬†I so love sharing my inner thoughts through writing.
  • I spoke with one of my closest friends this week after a too long hiatus.

Insights for the week

  • Omm backwards is Moo. (Thanks Dietz Family)
  • My intuition keeps getting stronger and stronger; I love that I am learning to actively listen and respond to my gut.
  • Finding answers to questions is not always so simple. . . .Never ask your friends what is better a Vitamix vs.¬†Blendtec OR Nutri-Bullet vs. Ninja. ūüôā Can you tell my blender is dying and I am into making green smoothies?
  • Everyone has a different perspective about the practices of the High Holy Days. ¬†I am thinking next year I may create my own practice and share with those that are interested.
  • Words have meaning and attitude; just when you think something makes sense, you learn it doesn’t.

I love that I can always find light even when I am walking down a dark alley.  Hoping the same for you too!

With love, light, & blessings
Chava

 

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Moving to Tucson was a leap of faith for me.¬† I knew I had to leave the rhythm of the DC and seek a new rhythm elsewhere.¬† The blessing is that I found Tucson and fell in love with the rhythm of the land.¬† The love grows daily with almost no watering.¬† For now I am home and perhaps I will create a community of friends that sustain me long term; I don’t know that yet.¬†¬† Even as I say that, I am also in the midst of creating solitude for myself.¬† I love to write; I love to chant. I even love being alone.¬† At the same time, I am lonely at times, but learning to turn the loneliness into a cocoon of warmth for myself.¬† For so long, I have hidden my feelings from even myself; I am facing them today.

Many paths lead to the mountain.

The funniest part of being here is that I am accepting a part of myself that I never quite connected with before.  While I can do what I need to do; I would love to fade into the woodwork more than I ever have.  I would love to walk a little quieter and allow for my more introverted personality.  In my core, I am shy in so many ways.  I find myself nurturing the connections that allow me to be most authentic.

Living in Tucson has connected me to the world in a way that I have never quite experienced before now.  Each and every day I am touched deeply by new sounds, sights, sensations, or experiences; I am seeing life as I have never seen it before.  I have always loved nature, but this is different.  The rhythm of the earth is quickly becoming my greatest teacher.  I am learning to trust the rhythm as I become more conscious about the not only my life, but the many lives that surround me.

Each and every morning, I open my eyes around 4 AM.  Some refer to this as the un-Godly hour, but to me it is fast becoming the most sacred time of the entire day. Morning loneliness gives way to a gentle calmness.  I have come to love the rising of the sun; the sun calls me to action.  With each step, my morning walks with my dog Maddie have taught me so much. I notice the change in the trees,and  the cacti, the land; I notice the weather, the rising of the sun, and morning skies.  I am learning about life as I notice the life that surrounds me.

Now that I am in Tucson, I no longer feel directionally impaired at every turn.   The Catalina Mountains and my new toe shoes always make me feel grounded on my new terrain.  The rising of the sun and the setting of the sun have made certain that I always know the difference between east and west.

With each passing day, I grow; new insights surround me when my eyes, ears, and heart remain open.¬†¬†My feet take me on a journey that is slowly helping me to become a stronger and more spiritually grounded human being. ¬†While I mourn what I have lost this year, I am finding solace in the many new gifts. ¬†Those that know me well, know that I treasure the Shehecheyanu moments, the moments when you say a blessing for new ‘experiences’ in a lifetime and sometimes for the first time you face something within a year’s time. ¬†Every day seems to be full of them. ¬†Here are some examples:

  • Stopped to allow a snake to cross the road.
  • Saw my first pomegrante tree; and now I watch it change with each passing day.
  • Introduced to my first tarantula.
  • Went walking in Sabino Canyon way after dark.
  • Ate my first dragon fruit.
  • Found and fell in love with Maddie, my new furry dog.
  • Making new friends who are touching me deeply.
  • New hikes weekly.
  • Cafe Passe is my home away from home. ¬†With each and every word I write, I feel like Cafe Passe brings beautiful Shehecheyanu moments.

The Rhythm of the Earth touches me differently now.  As I burrow into the life of the dessert, I am looking deep inside and working towards being an even better me.  While I have always done that, I no longer have the crutches that once held me up; with this move and with the cycle of life, I have experienced some loss.  Yet I have also found so many blessings and much beauty to help me weather the loss.  Loving Tucson and my new community is helping me move forward.

Exhaustion now comes earlier than I ever imagined it would; at the same time, sleep is sweeter than it has ever been.  The rhythm of the earth is guiding me to a more peaceful place.  With each step, I am opening my heart to what surrounds me and treasuring what I have.  Wow, I am profoundly fortunate.

Now that I have been here for nearly five months, it is time for me to re-connect more with those I love and adore. ¬†Just because I moved to Tucson doesn’t mean I had to lose the ones I love. ¬†Now it is time to integrate all the parts of my life so I become more whole or shalem. ¬†My soul friends mean the world to me! I’ve missed walking with them over the last few months, but now I need to do a better job of staying connected to those I love.

May the rhythm of the earth help me to grow and evolve with each and every step.  May my heart allow the beauty I see to seep into my soul.

With love, light, and blessings. . . .

 

 

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