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Dear Sleep,

The time has come for us to have a serious conversation. While I understand that you are indeed in hiding, I would welcome the opportunity to visit with you. Now that it is 4:33 AM, I am not certain that the visit will be as long as I desire, but you know I have learned to take what I can get.

Though we don’t seem to know one another well, there are a few things that I’d like you to know about me so that we can build on our relationship.

  1. After a painful period of time and back surgery, I am taking really good care of myself. So. . .you’d be settling with someone who is strong and fit.
  2. I am open to a long term relationship. Snuggling up with you would be a gift.
  3. There is no need for jealousy. While I am blessed to have a fabulous group of friends, I don’t want to sleep with them.聽At the moment, there is no one else that will compete with our relationship. . . so it will just be the two of us. Wouldn’t that be special!?!?
  4. Do you believe in keeping me from all sweetness or are you upset that I sometimes indulge in different forms of sweetness. If that’s a problem, I will stop partaking in sweet products. I truly don’t want you to be feel like too much sweetness is a good thing.

    tea latte in favorite mug

    Kosi R’vayah-My Cup Runs Over (Psalm 23:5)

  5. Just for the record, I don’t have a drinking problem. 馃檪 Did you know that a shot of whisky does not help you sleep, so instead I drink chamomile tea.
  6. Do you think exercise before bed will interfere with sleep? Tonight, I did my new stretches per instructions from my new Physical Therapist. . . .Wondering if that is what kept me awake.
  7. At 51, I seem to be struggling with my internal thermostat. Hoping that you don’t mind that I sometime violently kick off the covers in my sleep. If this is a problem, I can re-think how I address the whole carbon footprint reality. You do know that #45 doesn’t believe in climate change, so he maybe he is correct and I can keep the air conditioning as cool as possible.
  8. You don’t have to go “changing, to try to please me, I love you just the way you are.”

I am so excited to hopping into bed with you tonight My Beloved Sleep. May this be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship.

With love & light,
Chava

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Truth

Last night, as I closed my eyes, my mind started to focus on the role of truth in our lives.

With that two Jewish teachings popped into my mind.

Teaching聽One

The world stands on three things:
on justice, on truth, and on peace.
Mishna, Avot 1:18

and

Teaching聽Two

Truth vs Falsehood
讗直诪侄转聽讜砖讈侄拽侄专

“The Talmud (104a) finds great significance in the form and order of the Hebrew alphabet, devoting nearly a page to understanding the symbolism behind the order and design of the alphabet. The most famous of these passages is the analysis of the Hebrew words for truth and falsehood, emet and sheker. The base of the letters (aleph mem taav) of emet is solid, while the letters of sheker (shin kuf reish) are wobbly, having only one 鈥渓eg鈥 each. Furthermore, the letters of sheker are the 21st, 19th and 20th letters respectively; whereas emet has the first, last, and middle letters of the alphabet. While one may have to look for truth, truth is true everywhere; whereas lies, readily available, have to be constantly updated for each new situation.”
By Rabbi Jay Kelman in聽http://bit.ly/1ExqL1c

Both teachings focus on the significance聽of聽truth聽within our lives. 聽Balance really is much easier to find when you focus on living a life a truth. 聽I love that Judaism surrounds me with teachings that support the act of living consciously. 聽And I am fortunate that in this moment it supports what I intuitively believe around truth vs falsehood….Jewish teachings don’t always work so easily. 馃檪

Making Truth vs Falsehood Personal

Throughout聽my life I have experienced聽deception on so many levels both big and small. 聽Sometimes it is as simple as navigating half-truths or silence; sometimes it is as complicated as denial or downright lies. 聽But as I move into what could be the second half of my life, I realize that I want to live in a place of authenticity and grace regardless of where I stand.

In my life, I have, like many of us, been known for being silent or sharing only half truths and I have experienced the same realities from those in my life. 聽As I move forward in my life, I crave people that inspire transparency and allow me the space to be transparent. 聽Whether friend or lover, employer or employee, I want to be surrounded with people that don’t need to hide behind half-truths or downright lies. I also want to be the person that can hear both what is being said and what is not being said.

Trusting my heart to receive the truth and to share the truths will only happen as I develop a practice that is worthy of such a life. In order to make trust an integral part of my life, I need to first make聽practice a conscious one. I prefer聽to choose to live with integrity and surround myself with those that live in a place with a similar practice.

When considering Teaching One (see above), I find myself faced with a question. 聽How can we have justice, truth, and peace with each interaction? We can’t – of course. 聽Justice and truth do not always leave us with a sense of peace. 聽Dealing with truth and sometimes justice can be hard. 聽Our feelings are a huge variable in this journey. 聽And what feels good to one isn’t necessarily good for others. 聽Ugh!

Lately, I have been considering the role of true friends in my life. 聽I am actively trying to find a way to navigate those that really see things in a way that I find, quite honestly, sick. 聽How can they be close聽friends if their values or thought processes make me extremely uncomfortable. 聽Recently, a childhood friend became furious with me because of an article I posted on Facebook. 聽In truth, this person is sort of like family. I shouldn’t have been happy to have her out of my聽Facebook聽life, but I was thrilled! 聽We all have own truths,聽our own ways of seeing things. 聽And sometimes, I just don’t want to debate or to hear the other side. . . I have to, how else will I learn? 聽Sigh. Balance. . .always working towards finding balance.

When you don’t like how someone thinks, it is really challenging to navigate a warm relationship in which peace can grow. 聽There is no way that someone can convince me that that certain politics makes sense. 聽PERIOD. I don’t understand how people shop at Walmart when they don’t need to. Why would anyone that understands slave labor purchase products that support such practices. 聽And if I have to silence my passions, can I be in a place of聽truth within a聽friendship. 聽In the same way that each of us have our own truths, each of us also have to choose how to live and to make聽decisions based on our values. 聽Aren’t we all evolving?

I am struggling.

And since I am already a little cranky about how to connect with people when I dislike some of their values and belief systems, why not explore another challenging aspect of my struggle with truth.

I am learning; I am growing.

Not聽everyone feels the need to share their soul or raw energy as openly as I do – that has to be ok. 聽I am blessed with so many different types of people in my world and not all of them walk in the world as I do. 聽Just because someone chooses not to share the entire picture, doesn’t mean they are speaking a half-truth or falsehood. 聽Does it?

Close聽relationships may be the perfect place to hold back just a little. 聽Do we really need to fully express our feelings to those closest to us? As a mother, I wonder. 聽Part of helping my sons to develop into secure adults is by allowing them the room to express themselves without me needing to influence聽them. 聽With them, I am learning to say that I think it is best for me to refrain from sharing聽my thoughts at this time so that they can best figure out their聽thoughts for themselves. 聽But what about a partner or a spouse, sometimes we feel like we need to know everything, but other times people need their space.

The key to all interactions is realizing your non-negotiables, what aren’t you willing to be flexible about. Finding balance is not as easy as always being in truthful place, but to me I keep seeking to find聽the best聽way to navigate with others; I need to cultivate聽the solid footing that comes with walking the path of聽讗直诪侄转, truth. Perhaps what I need is to hold myself with transparency and grace, then I can hope to surround myself with those that do the same.

Relationships are so complicated.

鈥淭he Universe doesn’t like secrets.
It conspires to reveal the truth, to lead you to it.鈥
鈥 Lisa Unger, Beautiful Lies

May truth emerge in each and every human interaction.

 

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