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Posts Tagged ‘reaching’

Over the past months, I have struggled to find balance and to quiet my spirit. Inside my soul, I could feel my body, my mind, and my soul wrestling. They were struggling with a broken heart, the feeling that I wasn’t enough in any area of my life, and with this deep seeded pain that I would always be a fat blob.  Yes my body image was in the gutter. There were hours of every day that I felt like I couldn’t take a deep breath or that my heart was shattering into too many pieces to count. Besides. . .who would even want to try counting the the pieces of my broken heart? Who would want to hold someone who has lost all roots and was crumbling to the ground?

This darkness lasted for a few very long months until I realized that slowly I was breathing a little deeper and sparks of light were finding a way into my heart. Tears stopped falling with intensity and eventually they stopped falling with any regularity at all. And then there were the mornings that I could look at myself in the mirror without cringing.

I am not sure if I can quite say what switched, but I opened my eyes a little wider, I listened to the noise around me and the quiet inside me with more awareness, and I took some time to just be where I was.

The process that I went through and that I am still navigating has become about honoring myself the best way I can by building a stronger foundation. In order to become stronger I had to process the pain and darkness that had settled inside of me.

What I have known with clarity is that there was not one thing that left me with such sadness. I feel all emotions with every fiber of my being. This means that on the days that I am unable to compartmentalize life’s many moving parts, I will drown in a sea of sorrows or simply in my own intensity.

Yes the last few months have sucked. . . completely sucked, but they also created the opportunity for me to look inward and the time to heal. Eventually the harsh realities didn’t feel so harsh and with that I began to see my roots take a firmer hold of the earth.

And that is when the real work began. . . .

Reveling in setting the foundation, the framework, the intentions.
Connecting with understanding, compassion, balance, strength and awareness.
Honoring the journey.

Reflection by: Sue Dorfman

Path by Sue Dorfman

Courtesy of photographer Sue Dorfman

Sometimes the perfect words or the perfect picture show up exactly when you need them. As I was waking up, I was looking for what I needed to do so that I could become a little stronger.

This new journey that I am on is not simple.  With a long path ahead of me, I realized that I needed to set up some boundaries for myself. This meant deep reflection:

  • What was missing from my life?
  • Does writing guide my every step? If it doesn’t, it needs to.
  • Am I doing enough to nourish and nurture my spirit?
  • Have I been creative enough?
  • Do I take time to play?
  • Am I moving in a way that feels good for my body?
  • Am I moving enough?
  • How am I choosing to fuel my body and my brain?
  • Can I do more to make this world a better place? Or what do I have to do differently so that my impact in this world is more positive?
  • Is stretching, reaching, and growing an active part of my day?

If I am really going to be the healthiest that I can be, I need to be guided by deep seeded accountability multiple times every day.

  • Am I living authentically?
  • Am I choosing to hide behind a mask that others decorate?
  • Am I being the chameleon that fits into the world as I believe others want me to?

Over the last few weeks, I began to see that I was living behind a shadow of my own making. This realization means that it is time for me to actively return to strengthening my foundation with clear intentions while using this clarity to build the body, mind, and soul I want.

The work is daunting and yet it is also profoundly rewarding too. Each day I am gaining ground and celebrating more and more successes. I am also taking responsibility for navigating my life with intention as I actively engage in putting together the puzzle pieces of my body, mind, and soul. Only through that journey will I be able to soar and better become the woman I want to be.

Join me over the coming weeks as I unveil some of the moving parts that I am navigating and myriad of ways I hope to stretch, to grow, and ultimately to heal. My hope is that as I share some of my story, I may inspire you in some small way.

Onward with love, light, and blessings,
Chava

(Note: If you read to the end and if you like what I have to share, I’d love it if you would let me know by liking or commenting on my post.)

 

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L I V I N G is holy work.
 
Reflection Time Selfie

Reflection Time Selfie

 
Life is so profoundly full
My body craves less
My mind would love some emptiness
My heart desires just a little more.
 
Dance is the hidden language of the soul. (Martha Graham)
Stretching my entire being
Reaching for the stars
Allowing my body to sway to my own rhythm
 
Losing what I don’t need
Addictions, loved ones, and inner turmoil
Body weight, too much stuff, and lots of old stories
Wanting to celebrate what was
while letting go of what is no longer needed
 
Craving what I need:
Writing time
Creative experiences
and spiritual moments
 
Chanting
Drumming
Journaling
Moving
 
My body
My mind
My soul
Needs so much less and so much more
 
Each time I reach inward, I find more that I want
He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how. (Nietzsche)
My soul yearns to make a difference
My body and mind yearn to see the world through a different lens.
 
Let go of the old, make room for the possibilities
 
In front of me is a bridge
Only once I shed what I don’t need
Release what no longer serves me
Take one step and then another
Only then, will I be able to cross the bridge
 
L I V I N G is holy work
So I will do ALL that I have to do.
Hineini
Here I Am
Pantano Wash, Tucson Arizona

Pantano Wash, Tucson Arizona

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“The body is the first instrument of the Soul.” ~Henry David Thoreau

 A year ago, the doctor told that I needed to stop having all sodas and caffeine due to some health challenges.  In that one sentence, something in my soul clicked; an epiphany occurred.  My health had become a symbol for what was happening at the core of my being.

I listened to the doctor completely and then continued to make some vital changes of how I ate and how I moved.  The bottom-line is that I made dramatic changes with how I choose to nurture my body.  Sugar – gone; caffeine -gone; soda-gone.  I learned to move more and then life started happening a little differently than I had grown accustomed to in recent years.

After struggling with so much of life for so long, the doctor’s wisdom made me realize that I had to take the reins in my hands and start figuring out the course of my life.  Trusting myself needed to become the norm and listening to the wisdom that was ingrained not only in me but around me too.  My world is full of insightful, wise souls that share their wisdom freely and their love too.  I needed to learn to listen to the world that surrounded me.

So while the doctor enticed me to give up caffeine and soda as a means of becoming healthier.  I started to make some dramatic changes with how I walked in the world.  And it all began with an affirmation that a dear friend, Mersh Lubel Kanis helped me to develop.  “I give my body what it needs to be spiritually and physically health!”

What became obvious each and every time I wrote or spoke that affirmation is that I had to find a way to make all that I do become a manifestation of becoming more spiritually and physically balanced.  I had to not only eat better; I had to move more and take time to laugh too.  I had to live actively in present times and enjoy what was a little bit more.

Below is a list of what I have either learned this year or developed more fully over the course of this year.

  1. Live with integrity in all that you do; integrity comes from within.
  2. Speak your truth and listen deeply in return.
  3. Friends should fuel your soul and inspire you to be the best that you can be.
  4. What matters is not what happens in your life, but how you choose to walk through it.
  5. Silence has its place in this world, but only through action do you get things done.
  6. Take time to dream and then reach for your dream; actively and consciously give voice to all that you wish to accomplish and then actively engage in making it happen.
  7. Nurturing my spirit allows me the space to live life more fully.
  8. Always keep yourself moving to the best of your abilities.
  9. You never know what tomorrow will bring.  Don’t fear that reality, just let it guide you in how you walk through life.
  10. It is what it is.

While the doctor initially told me simple instructions, they became a spring board for me in every area of my life.  I found myself moving and reaching for things that I had been stagnant in my life previously; I also learned that I could ask for help as I moved forward.

During the last night of Chanukah, I sat around the table with not only latkes, but amazing friends and family too.  At the end of the meal, I had everyone pick a card from my beautiful new angel cards (from Israel).  Before picking the card I asked, “What will I need as I journey into this next year and all my endeavors?”  I picked the card which said gratitude.

With gratitude, I feel the blessings that surround me.  I couldn’t have made it without my beautiful family, my beloved friends, and work of my soul.

May I continue to see the blessings that surround me and strive to be a light to others.

With love and light,                                                                                                                                         ~Chava

Keep on moving!  Keep on reaching!

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