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Posts Tagged ‘payoff’

reeses

Today is Day  7 of my eliminating sugar from my diet.  In this moment, I am feeling pretty good, but tired too.  I haven’t been partaking in the sugar and caffeine pick me ups in the middle of the day; this is a good thing.  The biggest challenge in this journey is that when I am feeling anxious or just bummed, I really want ‘junk” and I have chosen to function differently.  All day yesterday, I would have loved peanut butter (the kind with sugar and hydrogenated oil) and chocolate.  In fact, I would have loved to chow down on a fair-trade chocolate and peanut butter bar (homemade or even a commercially made bar).

Yesterday was full of blessings, many of them, but still I had a few hours that felt a bit dark and overwhelmed.  I was feeling challenged by some intense issues that don’t usual wipe me out.  To begin with, I have four friends that are having intense physical challenges and I fear for their journey.  Secondly, I am navigating some financial challenges that sometimes feel overwhelming, but really aren’t.  And lastly, I needed time to write, to rest, and to chill, but that didn’t happen.  With all of this going on, I still found myself allowing my mind to wander to Israeli politics, the United States economy, and our environment.  My mind was full, too full.

With all of the intensity, I functioned well and didn’t let my mood stay down for more than an hour or two.  Work was busy, but manageable.  I even went with Aryeh to the 4th Avenue Street Fair in Tucson; I liked watching the people, but NOTHING really caught my eye.  We wandered without really feeling a strong need to pop into many booths and when we did stop, I was amazed by how many artists/booth operators ignored us, so we kept moving.  When I stopped at one booth, I would have asked some questions and perhaps purchased a mobile, but when no one noticed us, we just kept walking.

While lack of excess funds and a strong value for Voluntary Simplicity often guide me, I was still intrigued that I navigated a Fair that we were told about since arriving in Tucson 5 months ago.  It was an experience . . .I think  Aryeh and I enjoyed people watching more than anything!   I really do love walking on 4th Avenue and I was sad that I didn’t have time to curl up with my computer and go to Cafe Passe.  The one thing Aryeh and I noted with alarm was that we love amazing Tie-Dye and none existed at the 4th Avenue Street Fair.  Of all the things we could be judgmental about, it was Tie-Dye.  We love Milky Wave Tie-Dye; not only are Laz and Jess amazing artists, they are phenomenal people.  We love their business, their art, and their family too.  We loved their parents’ work too; we miss them.  So, Tucson, if you want to purchase real tie-dye, go to Opal, Virginia or look on FB. https://www.facebook.com/milkywavetiedye?fref=ts.

Tangent over. . . .

My biggest trigger food in the world is junky peanut butter.  If you ever see me eating junky peanut butter, you have two choices: get out of the way or gently ask me if I am ok.  If I am eating it, I am not ok.  And if I am eating peanut butter and chocolate together, do yourself a favor and get out of the way.  When I am dark, my natural inclination is to build a cocoon around myself and eat the foods that do nothing for my waist-line or my blood sugar level.  What I learned two years ago and what I am learning now is that tough stop happens and I can manage my emotions without the junk.

The blessing of today is that life happens and if I manage my emotions without sugar, I will soar to a healthier place.  Navigating discomfort and pain is hard; there is no way around it.  For me, today, comforting myself with unhealthy food is not an option.  I need to find a new ‘normal’ again.  Yesterday, I allowed myself tears, quiet time, and ultimately I functioned; I did everything I needed to do without feeding into my sugar addiction.

There really are many payoffs that are coming with this journey, I am:

  • learning to manage my emotions without sugar.
  • taking control of my life a little bit more than before.
  • losing weight (nearly 4 lbs. since last Sunday).

Today is a new day and I am thriving.

With blessings and light,  Chava

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