Posts Tagged ‘noise’

it's all inside of you



Question: How will I find or allow for balance of this coming period of time?

Answer: it’s all inside of you.

~ ~ ~

Only through writing, do I fully navigate my thoughts, my realities, and hopes for the future.

Good thing I have my journaling because I am not sure who else would put up with my rambling at 4 AM.

This weekend is the first weekend I am home after a beautiful month of travels.

While the travels were amazing in every way, what is more poignant is how my heart and soul has continued navigating.

With each mile traveled, I found myself aware that my soul travels many different terrains at any given moment.

I am a seeker.

  • the Colorado Mountains call to me and ask me look inward.
  • the Bay Area give me the opportunity to see my values and voice in action.
  • Woodstock, NY holds the beauty that reminds me that I will always have a home away from home.

And yet, I have also learned that while I can journey from coast to coast and in between too, I am always traveling the landscape of my heart and soul.  Breathing deeply, I seek the quiet in a world that often full of noise.

My travels have been illuminating and more than a little scary.  Far from easy, I found some of my vulnerability to be exactly what was needed. By owning it, I am finding myself slowly releasing the cocoon that I had woven around my entire being.

The journeys I have taken this summer have been different than any previous journeys I have ever taken. Each and every step, each and every written word, AND each and every breath has been about my search for balance in a world that is full of kinetic energy.


(Note: Each morning as part of my Morning Pages (journaling), I end by asking myself a question and then picking a Hope or Angel Card to help guide that journey. Hope cards can be found http://www.bonesigharts.com/store/hope-cards.)


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Silencing the Noise

Noise fills my life at every turn; chances are that most of my friends have similar thoughts.  Just a moment ago, the dogs were running circles around the house and barking at one another.  As I started to settle down to write, I had to check Facebook, emails needed to be read and responded to, and then I noticed two text messages on my phone.  At the same time, there are dishes that need to be washed, laundry folded, and assorted other chores.  Those are just the external noises that envelop my world.  The kids haven’t even gotten up yet?

Meanwhile, I am listening to folk music that I love and which also reminds me of all the work I need to do in the larger world.  I am living in our glorious world, so I need to be doing my part to make this world even better than it is today.  So much needs to be done, so very much.  It is sweet irony that the first song to come onto Pandora as I sat down to write was Blowing in the Wind written by Bob Dylan and performed by many other others.  In it they ask nine questions that reminds me of all the work to be done.  Each question is profound and has many personal responses depending on who is feeling the call to answer.

And then, I hear the noise that personally affects me at every turn.  My children are growing and have so many needs, many of which I simply cannot afford.  Two of my three dogs are aging rapidly and with that brings so many challenges both emotional and financial.  Finances in our house are tight.  And yes we do have what we ultimately need.  I have a few friends that are seriously sick (both physically and emotionally); my work has its gifts and challenges; relationships need nurturing and a few need to evolve or weeded out for the time being.  Life is full.

And with all of the above comes the creative and spiritual journeys I am on.  In my heart, I know I need to fuel the creative inclinations I have.  What I want more than anything at this very moment is to fill my world with writing while I dabble in developing workshops that come from my passions, and also take time to paint and play with different craft projects.  There is so much to do! And you should see the pile of books I want to read for knowledge and the trash I read as a means of shutting off all the noise.  OY.  The good news is that my work has the potential to foster some of my creative needs.  My spiritual needs feel a little more overwhelming, my house is rarely quiet for more than a little while so my chanting and my drumming practices have faltered a bit and my daily davening (praying) is not what I’d like it to be.  And even with that, I am still considering rabbinical school.

Sometimes the noise feels like gentle tides moving through the ocean and sometimes it feels like waves crashing while the wind swirls overhead.   Finding balance to life’s noises has become of key importance to me at this time in my life.  I love all the moving parts of life, but need to manage each moment in my life better.

Well in the time that it has taken me to contemplate through my writing, my children have gotten up and helped with transitioning the laundry.  The dogs have been quiet and snuggled up with one another.  And I have found a little more balance and inner peace because I have taken some time to write.

Balance can be found within all the noise; guess I need to be a little quieter so that I can find it.

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