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Posts Tagged ‘loved’

Today is Day 16 of My Selfie Challenge. This is my time to look at how I walk in the world and to shake loose from some of the very things that bind my spirit.  And if I am going to be really truthful, it is my hope that as I take each photo, I will learn to be just a little happier with the person that I am. As a seeker, it is my time to find the beauty that is me.

~ ~ ~

As a child, I felt insignificant in a world that was never quite ready for me. I wasn’t cute enough or smart enough; I struggled to move physically or to connect socially; I was fat and awkward. Mostly I remember that no one understood me or what I needed.

Day 16BLater in life, I grew to understood that my lack of hearing and some possible neurological challenges impacted how I walked in the world. While I understand that there were some very real reasons for the way I moved, it left an open wound that still emerges every so often.

Looking back, I think I may have become a writer because it was the only way that I could be authentically me and communicate with ease. I so wanted to be heard and to be understood. Today, I still crave being seen, being heard, and being loved. Although I am grateful that I don’t feel quite so awkward any longer, I do have my moments when I feel ill equipped for where I am.  When this mood hits, the pain is reminiscent of my youth. Today was one of those days. I am grateful that tomorrow is a new day and that in most ways I am seen, heard, and loved.

I got this!!

Today I am sending love, light, and blessings ( & hoping that it reflect back to me.)

 

 

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Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom. For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for others, it is a tool for exploring the kabbalistic teachings in an organized way. For me, it is a time to actively reflect on my Journey Towards Wholeness. The more I am whole, the more free I will become.  [http://t.co/dBPYjDxSGj . . . .]

Recognizing the Angels

Kosi R'vayah-My Cup Runs Over (Psalm 23:5)

Kosi R’vayah-My Cup Overflows (Psalm 23:5)

My world is full of angels that keep supporting my spirit and lending a wing (or a hand) at every flight.

Over the last six months, I have been awed by the many gifts bestowed on me and my sons. We have been and continue to be held with love, warmth, caring as well as tangible gifts of food, money, home and jobs.

While there have been some very challenging chapters of my personal and professional life, I am amazed that the support literally overflows at every moment.

As I type, I am struggling to find a home in Houston, where I will be moving within the month. For some reason, the planets have not aligned just yet – but I know they will. And it is without question that I feel it deeply that I am going home (and I hope my sons will one day feel the same). The warmth of the new community and the kindness of strangers makes me feel like I belong.

Even today, as I turned to my amazing realtor and asked her if she wanted to continue working with me. . .she was beautiful. She said, “of course.” And she seemed befuddled that I would ask such a question. Yet, I am sure I am taking more time than anyone wants. While I am blessed with a great job, the struggle is that years ago I made a very conscious decision to stop using any credit; even with the challenges, I believe that I made a great choice at that time.  Still, that decision has come to create a challenge. So paying my bills may not be enough. Sigh. (But I am feeling grateful for my time in Tucson which showed me that I could take care of my children, sustain my family, and have no trouble finding a fantastic house.)

And then there is the leadership in my new community. . .one person has spend hours looking for a home for me. I am not sure how I became so fortunate, but I am.  In the meantime, the spiritual leader of the community has already begun to inspire my work and I haven’t even “officially” started.  I really do feel like the luckiest Jewish Educator in the universe. My Cup Overflows.

So while, I may feel concerned that I won’t find a home. I know that that is silly.

I feel the angels surrounding me, keeping me grounded even as I am ready to take flight.

May we all take the time to see the angels in our midst and thank them for all they give and will give.

Feeling loved!

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

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