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Posts Tagged ‘life forces’

(Note: I love being a mother to my sons, but I rarely think of Mother’s Day from the perspective of being an Ima, a mom,  or a mother.  This is one of the days that causes me to remember my own mother and those memories are far from good ones.)

In my own world! February 2015

Photo Courtesy of Aryeh Grossman; Composition by Marty Johnson

Mother’s Day always makes me sad and often makes me cry.

My own mother was a sick and troubled soul. While the pain she caused might have been only a portion of the pain she felt, the pain she caused left me broken and shattered.

Mother’s Day reminds me that I often feel less than whole. I feel like something will always be missing. Mom often reminded me that I was fat and ugly; mom didn’t know how to love me or nurture my soul.

But I will always remember that my mother gave me life. So while I may have moments when I feel battered and broken, I have always found the resiliency I need to embrace the healing journey.

The pain she caused empowered me to become the person I am. I love life deeply and I treasure my loved ones as well as the world around me. All life forces matter and I live accordingly.

Taking control of my life is a beautiful thing. Over the years, I have found my voice through writing and sharing my stories, I learned how to walk a healthier journey than the one of my birth, and I have grown into the beautiful woman that I am.

While Mother’s Day makes me pause and reminds me of my harsh beginnings with my own mother, it also reminds me of how far I have come.  Perhaps one day, I won’t cry on Mother’s Day. Perhaps I will be able to celebrate that I am the woman I am because of how my mother mothered me.

May it be so. . .

 

 

 

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Boise River which flows through Treasure Valley - Dianne Hoff

Sunrise ove the Boise River which flows through Treasure Valley Courtesy of Dianne Hoff

Darkness turns to light
Night turns to day
Time moves forward

Life is what it is
Nothing stops
Cycles continue

Pain evolves
Peace rolls forwards and backwards
My spirit survives and often thrives

Needing the light of day
Treasuring the natural cocoon of night
Metaphorically surrounded regardless of time

Always. . . .

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The gift of prayer is it often gives my feelings a voice and leads to balance.

There are so many connotations about darkness and light, night and day. And yet the flow or cycle helps to strengthen our connection to all life forces.

(Note: This piece was inspired by Ma’ariv Aravim, from my evening prayers.)

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Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom. For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for others, it is a tool for exploring the kabbalistic teachings in an organized way. For me, it is a time to actively reflect on my Journey Towards Wholeness. The more I am whole, the more free I will become.  [http://t.co/dBPYjDxSGj . . . .]

Namaste – Part 2

Namaste

Yesterday, I shared a little about my Namaste Journeyhttp://wp.me/pthnB-Mt. On Day 31 of the counting of the Omer, it is my hope to share how I am finding myself missing the mark in terms of fully being present with remembering that the spirit in me honors the spirit in all life forces, Namaste.

In the last few weeks, I have been on the road a lot.  Ten days ago, I drove from Louisa, Virginia to Woodstock, NY. During the first two hours of my trek, I noticed over 20 dead animals. For the first dozen or so, I earnestly found myself sad for each creature’s spirit. How horrible for any spirit to die with a crash and a squeal of tires. My heart really breaks when I allow myself to reflect about this.

After the first dozen animals, I slowly noticed that I had lost the sensitivity that I had always prided myself on. Eventually, the beautiful spirits began to blend together and I stopped feeling compelled to honor each spirit.

I am a work in progress. How disappointing that I wasn’t stopped being as conscious as I like to be. With that in mind, I am wondering how to remain caring when I am surrounded by life’s challenges for those I love, those in my life, and all life forces that surround me.

Each and every day, our news reminds of the mounting tragedies in our world. Global warming, race riots, murder, natural disasters, homelessness, illness. . . .the list goes on and on.

I love life – all of life!

With this in mind, I have decided to share my challenges in hope of making myself more accountable. In sharing what I perceive as my shortcomings, I know that I am striving to improve. At the same time, I am hoping that I inspire others to consider all the life forces that surround you.

May we all strive to not only notice the world around us, but to pray for the spirits of all life forces as we make a difference for good.

With love, light, and blessings,

Chava

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The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character. Author Unknown

Everything we do matters….

Reflection time. . . .  Over the last few days I have had moments for pause.  With the High Holy Day upon us, I have asked myself so many questions about how I walk in the world and have been honest about myself about I feel about the different interactions I have with not only those I know personally, but the world around me too.  Facing life head on takes courage; it isn’t easy.  But in order to be authentic with my own self, I need to openly reflect and seek understanding for what is, who I am, and who I am becoming.

Human Connections

I love people; I love interacting with nearly each and every person.  I am also sensitive about the interactions with those I adore and much less sensitive with those that matter less as a friend or loved one.  In the last few years, I have come to accept that my spirit can be crushed by the ending or a dark turn in a friendship.  Today, I also embrace the fluttering of my heart when someone walks into my life who I feel has always been there whether the connection is part of my life for an hour or a decade.  I am learning to accept what is.  Reflection. . . .

All of us have to reflect sometime. Photo Courtesy of Jeff Rockland

All of us need to reflect sometime.
Photo Courtesy of Jeff Rockland

The first half of my life, I was blessed with some great people at times and many sweet interactions, but I haven’t always experienced deep connections with people.  While loving people deeply has added a beautiful layer within my life experiences, it can hurt too.  Sometimes I miss the life I lived before I felt or cared intensely.  I am not sure why some people touch me deeply and others less so.  The bottom-line is that I am learning to accept that relationships can be complicated and that has to be OK.  I am learning.

What I have learned is that people matter; they always matter.  Finding the beauty in each interaction is the gift I give myself.  Yes some touch me a little more,, but each and every one touches me.

Life Forces

We are surrounded by beauty, by trees, animals, cactus.  The earth is below me; the skies hover above me.  Life surrounds me.  And I am responsible to do my best with the world around me.  I believe that each of us needs to walk gently with the earth at all possible times.  When we have a choice, we should always be live consciously and thoughtfully.  The earth and the skies will be here long after we are gone; we need to remember our role in making that happen.

Last week, I had a conversation with someone who was perplexed why I didn’t want to make the trek with others up to Phoenix for a short meeting.  The  reason was simple to me, but not to this person.  One of many reasons I gave was because it made little sense to drive 4 hours for a 2-3 hour gathering.  His response was that the little things don’t matter, it is the big picture how we live our life.  I didn’t agree; I don’t agree.  Every step we take matters.  Does that mean I am perfect?  Not at all, but I am working on being the best I can be.

This morning, I read the status line that one friend expressed after having a car-free Sunday; this attitude makes sense to me.  May we all have car-free days!

Everything we do matters.

Eating

I am back on my health journey.  With each passing day, I make good eating choices and less than good eating choices.  When I make good choices, I feel great and my weight is easing down.  When I make less than good eating choices, my weight inches up and I don’t feel too good.

I am also becoming more conscious of the different considerations possible for each and every item I purchase.  While I don’t have the money to do everything I want, I do have the ability to make choices and to grow in a specific directions.  My considerations include, buy are not limited to:

  • organics vs. conventional foods
  • whole foods vs. processed foods
  • packaging
  • animal by-products vs. non-animal by-products
  • carbon footprint (local vs. distance)
  • fair-trade vs. slave labor/poor employment practices
  • cost
  • etc.

With each choice comes many layers of complexity worthy of consideration.  My job as a human being is to consider what goes into eating and to make the best choices as I move forward.  Over time, my hope is that I will better align my values with my food choices.

Reality

Yesterday, I drove an hour each way to be with a community that I adore that was having a traditional ‘memorial service’ that takes place during this time of year.  I joined the community to honor both those that have passed and those that are alive and thriving.  Did I have to drive over two hours? No, but sometimes I need to make choices that have many implications.  In this case, I did what was right!

When we live consciously, we make choices every day.   And every choice we make has an impact on the world we live.  And each choice comes with a cost to our health, our environment, our world.

May we all do our best as we walk in the world.  Everything we do matters.

Here is a small list of what I have been doing over the past weeks.  What are you doing that makes a difference for others in some way?

  1. After reading one of my blogs, a reader took the time to tell me how my writing touched her.  While that doesn’t happen often, the fact that it keeps happening keeps me inspired and writing.
  2. A couple of months ago I reached out to a man who might have single-handedly saved my life.   Approximately 33 years ago, I worked with a counselor who gave me some well needed to tools for taking care of myself.  While many of my friends were experiencing normal junior high trials and tribulations, I was struggling to survive a traumatic childhood and using mind altering substances to help me on this journey.  With the help of this one special man, I was able to make different decisions and while the next years were far from good, I made it!!!!Last month, I found him and told him.  The timing was great and in the end, I was able to touch his life when he needed it! I am so happy that I reached out.
  3. Every time I go to the grocery store, I smile at the cashiers, the baggers, the stockers – I love making them smile.  And when I go to the check-out stand, my phone always goes away so that I can interact with those around me.
  4. So often I notice trash on the ground and then I pick it up.  Why not?
  5. A friend called to tell me that they now by fair-trade chocolate because of our family.
  6. I have donated boxes and boxes of good items/books to those in need and to organizations that run thrift shops that benefit organizations that are doing good work.  As I simplify, I am hoping that others can benefit.
  7. Gave money to a friend who nearly ran out out of gas and asked her to pay it forward when the time was right.
  8. Saved a rabbit from a coyote!!!! 🙂

Everything we do matters.

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