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Posts Tagged ‘klutz’

Mendocino CA-Sandra G. Wortzel

Mendocino, California Photo Courtesy of Sandra G. Wortzel

. . . .some days are just hard. Regardless of how upbeat I usually feel, there are days or parts of days when I struggle to find center. I am human.

I believe that at some point in time or another, this is a reality that all of us face, but that doesn’t make those down moments any easier. And yet while it is important to allow ourselves to feel however we are feeling, we also need to allow ourselves to actively navigate the depression so that we can land in a better place.

The beautiful tree to the left flooded my spirit with  so many emotions when I noticed it on my friend’s Facebook page today. Literally, I started bouncing all over the place. I found myself finding center, feeling sad, loving the water, wanting to do tree pose, or Vrksasana in Sanskrit, for balance and centering. And then I found myself taking a deep breath and breathing in the sunset over the water in what of my favorite areas of the country. While the photo is absolutely stunning, it also reminds me of the deep loneliness that I sometimes feel. Remember, I did warn you that this photo took my emotions all over the place.

And yet, I rarely feel lonely for long. Today, I reached out and asked for help. I let my Facebook tribe know, “Inspiration Needed. . .  All pick ups welcome (sayings, stories, TedTalks, songs. . . ) My spirit needs a lift.” And with that,  I received nearly a dozen suggestions of what to sayings, photos, TedTalks, beautiful reminders to let me know I am loved, and reasons to laugh at life’s absurdities at the expense of adorable babies and kittens.

Yes I am sad, but by acknowledging how I am feeling and reaching out to my tribe, I can start moving forward and finding balance. While I understand some of my sadness, I also know that my spirit needed to go inward this past week and I didn’t really have the time, so I am paying for it on my last day off for a while. AND I am aware that although Houston is my home now, everyone is busy and I have yet to find chanting/drumming circles or hiking trails and friends that want to go with me. (Note: When I lived in Tucson, I used to go off on my alone a lot until my sons found out. It was one of those days, I tripped, skinned my knees, ran into a fox, struggled climbing down a mountain, and then found a scary snake in my path. 🙂 Needless to say, my sons now forbid to hike alone. Oh, have I told you that I am a total klutz?)

Reality Check
Since starting this blog, my spirit is lifting. I was able to share my spirit with the most amazing Torah Study Group EVER! I took some time to shed a few tears. . .ok, I didn’t have a choice. . .the tears came whether I wanted them or not. And I just found out that Door l’Door was in Pittsburgh Jewish Chronicle this week and with that came an email saying that someone wanted to support my efforts. Around that same time, another friend, a rabbi in New York, reached out to me to share that he and a couple of his congregants will be supporting the work of Door l’Door.

Time to stand a little taller, ground myself a little more deeply, and to reach my arms out into the universe. I got this. Hard days come and challenging days go!

What I learned today is that if I show up with the both the vulnerability and authenticity that drives my spirit, I will be held until I can better hold myself.

Onward with blessings & light,
Chava

 

 

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We al have moments that we hope to stay private.

Most of them are laughable; some of them are dramatic or just downright inappropriate.

wacky chavaPJbottoms

This morning, I went out wearing pajama bottoms that are better left hidden and a sweatshirt showing my loyalty to the New Orleans Saints.  My hair was disheveled….it always is – so never mind that!  And I was perfect picture of sloppy and goofy looking.  If that wasn’t enough, I was thinking about this while I was walking the puppy.  At the very moment that I started to giggle, I was fumbling with putting on my gloves when a branch jumped out and hit me right in the face.  I really didn’t see it coming and I couldn’t stop laughing either.  I kept thinking what if someone saw this picture.  Truthfully, I would make them laugh.

Making people laugh is always a good thing, right?  I think so!

And then earlier this week, I was walking the puppy when I fell on all fours.  At this point, you could say that perhaps I am a little too connected to the animal kingdom or maybe just the earth, but more accurately I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking in the dark.  Well 30 minutes later, when I looked at my knees and hands, I saw some really beautiful shades of blue and purple.  Truth be told I was OK, but my ego – not so much.

Have you noticed a theme here? Maybe I should get rid of the puppy? Or perhaps I should stop walking outside in my neighborhood?  Or perhaps it is time for me to admit that I am a klutz?  Either way, I think I will stay just the way I am.

And then there are the times, I have said the completely wrong thing at the wrong time.  Or used a word that I thought I knew how to say, but didn’t. . .those are the times I really want to hide.  Unfortunately, there are many more of those stories. . .  OY!   But you can wait, I am sure one day I will share some of my communication blooper stories.  Stay tuned. . . .

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