Striving for Teshuvah: Returning my soul to the purest of intentions.

Returning to your purest soul = Teshuvah

Teshuvah*

Begins with being honest with yourself

Facing the rawness of who you are

Elohai Neshama*

Finding the infinite possibilities as you come to grips with reality

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Teshuvah

Believing in the future even as you wrestle with your demons and face the past head on

Dancing with the truth

Knowing that nothing is ok, not now

Yet seeking a balance, a time when all can be ok.

*Teshuvah comes when you look inside yourself and dig for the truths of your soul.  In the end of the day, we have the opportunity to reach out and to reach in as we become our most authentic selves.  Often we need to become transparent and sometimes we need to say that we are sorry.  More often than not, what I need is to find my truth and listen.

**Elohai Neshama – God gave me my soul.  Is God all-powerful? I don’t know.  All I know is that I am pure because of my soul.  And it is my job to live in the most purest way I can.  The universe calls me to action; I am alive because the universe still has a role for me.  May I have the strength and the wisdom to honor the universe (including myself and others) by doing what is right, what is good.

 Reflections

My journey over the years has been to seek integrity by living consciously and honestly as a human being.  What makes me soar? What makes me smile? What makes me laugh? Can I cry when the tears are calling out?  Sometimes. . . .I am, after all, a human-being.  I am striving and growing each moment that I am alive.

My intentions matter.  And honoring my intentions is part of my soul’s journey.

Teshuvah is about honoring the realness, the darkness, the realities of life, of my life.  As I prepare for the journeys of my soul, I pray that I am always living in a place of honesty with myself and others.

May I be blessed with the integrity by reaching to be my highest self.

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Leap of Faith

Leap of Faith

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust.

~Bruce Springsteen

The world is wide open.  Opportunities exist at every turn.  While stability is a gift, sometimes you just have to take a ‘leap of faith’ and then hang on for the ride. 🙂

Honoring your soul can be scary if it means you have to leave the norm you have known.  My personal philosophy isn’t easy for most, but it is the only way that I can walk in the world. Believe that doors will open and they will; breathe deeply and know that each breath leads where you need to go.

Freedom is not given to us by anyone; we have to cultivate it ourselves. It is a daily practice… No one can prevent you from being aware of each step you take or each breath in and breath out.”

~Thich Nhat Hanh

 One week ago, I took a leap of faith by deciding to “officially” make some professional changes; I found the strength to listen to the inner voice that resides inside my soul.  The risk is huge, but sometimes you have to listen to that silent voice inside yourself.  Regardless of the fear, you have to take one step in front of the other and create the path that will honor who you are.

The challenge is that honoring yourself has a cost; sometimes you have to disappoint those you love and respect.  In the midst of reality, take a big breath and realize that loving yourself has to trump all.  With one life to live, soaring is the option that will propel you forward.

May each of us be blessed to walk gently within our world.

May we have the courage to love ourselves and honor that which we need.

May kindness always be a guiding force for good.

Some days are full of questions; some days are full of answers.  My hope is that I find balance with both and do the right thing for all who I touch, including myself.

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Learning from our aging dog

Learning from our aging dog

Most of you know I adore creatures, all creatures.  Having said that, you should note that I still have so much to learn about human interactions and my relationship to those interactions. I don’t like conflict – no one does, right? I am an incredible optimist, so those that often wear their heart on their sleeves challenge me.  Yet I am still a present friend; people cry on my shoulders and allow me to be there for them when they are in time of need.  Internally, though, I sure have a lot to learn from Mukseh, one of our aging dogs.

Sometimes we find Mukseh looking at us and just crying.  She reminds us that even though she is no longer in the center of attention she needs to be loved.  Mukseh loves human contact; she thrives on being stroked with whatever limb is available to her.  She loves to be raked out (similar to brushing) and included in all of our conversations.  Just because she misses a little more about what is going on doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be part of things.  Once she notices that she wants to be nurtured, she let’s us know. And sometimes all she needs is for our presence.

Have you ever tried to walk with an injured friend, a elderly parent/grandparent, or a friend that is just a little slower than you?   The truth is that I can and do walk with people at their own rate fairly easily – mostly because I know it is a limited time commitment.  At 13.5 years old, Mukseh is a member of our family and she needs to be walked three to five times a day.  She also struggles with aging and arthritis.  We have always loved walking our dogs a lot over the course of the day.  Well as Mukseh has grown older, she wants to walk less and she walks so much slower.  Lately, I have taken to walking her by herself allowing her to choose how slowly or quickly she wants to walk on a specific day.  The walks are so much more pleasant when I am not trying to coerce her into going where I want to go as quickly as I want to travel.  And when I allow myself the time to walk as she wishes, Mukseh is so much happier; I don’t even think she misses her walks with her other canine siblings.

Each of us has days when all we want to do is relax and take it easy.  Lying on a hammock in the trees would be blissful if we could take the time.  I love how Mukseh can just find her place and chill.  Her favorite spot in the world is lying on the cool wooden floor in front of our front door.  We have all learned to open the door very slowly for fear of hurting her as we barrel through the doorway.  I love how she is happy just being close to us, but also likes having her own space.

Sometimes when she feels pain, Mukseh cries.  Sometimes she allows herself to take the steps real slowly.  What I love about Mukseh is her ability to listen to her body.  She doesn’t do what she can’t do.  She now sits down and let’s life happen around her without being the instigator.  Her love is pure to each and every one of the creatures in the house.  No one is sad without Mukseh checking in to see what she can do about the situation.  And she is often the one who just sits near a sad person without need to get in their space.

Mukseh is one of the most present beings in our world.  She nurtures our family and she still protects us by letting us know when evil is emerging.  I will always treasure that Mukseh has taught me how to allow life to be as it is.  We can’t fix everything we want to; sometimes we just need to be present and to live simply live our lives.

Thank you Mukseh – I love you! We all love you!

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