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Posts Tagged ‘endurance’

Tonight we counted Day 39 of the Omer, which is 5 weeks and four days of the counting. Day 39 is referred to as Netzach sheh b’Yesod, Endurance within Foundation.

Living life is a full time job; you never get a day off for good behavior; it just doesn’t happen. The moving parts always keep moving and even that which seems like rest ultimately leads to movement.

Endurance is choosing to thrive while always developing the foundation that makes up your life.

May each step we take guide us towards open doorways leading to light.

Wood

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Last night we counted Day 27 of the Omer, which is 3 weeks and six days of the counting. Today is referred to as Yesod sheh b’Netzach, foundation within endurance.

Living life takes endurance; consciously or not, we endure the lives we live.  When we actively build a foundation for ourselves by meaningfully engaging in life, we are building a foundation within the lives we endure.

Breathing is not optional, yet most of us breathe unconsciously.  Try taking five deep breaths right now or when you have a moment ; to do this you will need to inhale slowly through your nose giving your entire body a moment to feel the breath as you take it in and then exhale through your mouth just as slowly.  Try to do this exercise evenly by taking as much time to inhale as you do to exhale.  Does this exercise relax you, give you more energy, or make you feel more centered.

Finding ways to more actively engage in life is part of building a foundation.

I write for the same reason I breathe – because if I didn’t, I would die.  ~Isaac Asimov

For me, acknowledging Yesod sheh b’Netzach, foundation within endurance, is empowering.  There are so many ways in which I choose to build a stronger foundation for myself and for my family.  Each and every step we take matters and helps strengthen our cores.  Whether it is about how we breathe, eat, move or whether it is about how we relate to our interests, our money, or our role in tikun olam (repairing the world).  When I consciously develop how I do these things, I am creating a more solid foundation for myself and ultimately my family.

As we move through today, may conscious living empower us as we build a stronger foundation within our our lives.

Keep on Moving! Reaching!

 

 

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Last night we counted Day 24 of the Omer, which is 3 weeks and three days of the counting of the Omer. Today is referred to as Tiferet sheh b’Netzach, beauty within endurance.

Writers_Clock_ Black

To me there is nothing as beautiful as someone who is actively and passionately engaged in some aspect of life over a long period of time.  This could doing acts of Tikun Olam (Repairing the World) or an art form or maybe even someone who loves some aspect of physical movement.  Beauty comes from loving to learn and sharing that love with others.  Passion and drive take incredible amounts of endurance.

May we all find the drive and passion that fills us with beauty as we develop, grow, and move forward.

 

 

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Tonight we counted Day 22  of the Omer, which is 3 weeks and one day of the counting of the Omer. Today is referred to as Chesed sheh b’Netzach or loving-kindness within endurance.

yizkor

Tonight I lit a yizkor candle for my mother. She was never emotionally healthy, but she was still the woman who gave birth to me. 

My hope and my prayer is that wherever her spirit lies, may it be full of peace. Peace never came to her in life, perhaps it came to her in death.

For years, I was tormented by mother’s life and then later her death.  She was so profoundly ill that she was unable to act as a healthy mother should; her spirit must have been broken.

Tonight I realized that for the first time in my life, I felt completely neutral to the pain and darkness that my mother’s presence perpetrated in my life.  Somehow, I have found the endurance to find it in my heart to move forward; I have also found it in my heart to wish peace for her spirit.

Chesed sheh b’Netzach – May it be so 

 

 

 

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Last night, we counted Day 18 of the Omer, which is 2 weeks and 4 days of the counting of the Omer. Today is referred to as Netzach sheh b’Tiferet or endurance within beauty.   Tiferet is not simply beauty, it encompasses so much more; when you see the complete picture of Tiferet, you also see balance and harmony too.

Besides being the 18th day of the counting of the Omer, it is also 3 Iyar.  For most of you, it might not mean too much for me, it leaves me reflective as I embrace reality.  I love counting the Omer, each day gives me tools to look inward while focusing on different aspects of my journey.  In Netzach sheh b’Tiferet,I am able to find how endurance has brought me to a beautiful and balanced foundation; endurance has helped me ride waves and find my own center.  This reality has been true time and time again as I have faced life’s challenges.  But last night, I felt it even more.

For me, the month of Iyar (Jewish month) from the beginning until my mother’s yahrzeit (the anniversary of her death) on 7 Iyar is profoundly rough on my spirit.  My body responds to Iyar before I even know it is here.  I mourn the loss of the mother I never had; I crave the time to curl up in a ball  allowing my pain to move through me; and I feel sadness.  The funniest part about all this is that each year, I am surprised by what is happening to me internally until suddenly I notice the date and then I realize my spirit knows what my mind doesn’t yet absorb.  The subconscious mind is a powerful tool.

When I think of Netzach sheh b’Tiferet, I realize that incredible endurance and fortitude that has brought me to this time.  There is a beauty within my very being that soars because I have found a way to navigate what was and what continues to be.  That knowledge helps me walk through the world as I do and allows me to touch people in positive ways; my energy is often a positive force within the world I live.

Light emerges out of darkness.

Light emerges out of darkness.

While painful things were done to me and experienced by me because of my mother’s actions, I have still found a way to become a light to others.  The darkness I have suffered didn’t destroy my spirit.  In fact, I found the sparks wherever I could and created more light.  Endurance.  I am alive and thriving in every way and in most every interaction.

So while I shed tears last night as I heard the Mourner’s Kaddish (prayer), I also know that my experience as Marilyn’s daughter made it possible for me to become the person I am.  My spirit’s endurance and my inner light will continue to grow and shine.

My prayer for each of us is that we have a life of ease and goodness, but if times get tough:

  • May we each find the sparks that help us navigate the darkness.
  • May we find the endurance we need so that we may ultimately thrive.

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Tonight, we counted Day 11 of the Omer, which is  is 1 week and 4 days.  We refer to today as Netzach she-b’Gevurah, Endurance within the power of life’s journeys and within our own strength.  To live life fully is to live within the power of our beautiful essence.

December 24

In this moment, endurance is taking on new meaning.  This week in particular has been internally painful; I have been grappling with the question of  how can I move forward without allowing  life’s powerful challenges to take over my spirit.  I love life and I needed to find a way to stop struggling and  propel myself forward.   This was an internal struggle that was moments long with profound benefits to follow.

A part of me had given up on feeling and I didn’t want to return to the place I had once been; I didn’t want to stop feeling because that is truly something that makes me who I am today.  I embrace the world the way I do because I allow myself to listen to the rhythm of life.  The realization caused me great pain and many tears and then something happened.  I let go of pain and started moving forward again; I started believing that I could keep moving forward.  My spirit returned.

While I am still struggling, I realize that I had chosen to let pain railroad my spirit.  (For those of you that are looking, it was not one ‘event’ that took place, it was a series of unrelated events that hurt me deeply.)  I needed to go to that place for a little while so that I could find the spirit that has actually sustained me through many darker times within my life.  Endurance is the key to navigating within the power of life’s journeys.

In this moment, I am still treading a bit, but internally I am actually relieved.  My spirit is beginning to soar again and I believe that nothing will ever truly break my spirit.  This week has been full and I have endured the shadows of my mind and my soul.  There is amazing power in deciding to thrive and in riding life’s waves.

May we all be blessed to find the light within the darkness.  While all of us sometimes experience the shards of glass that have cut our soul, it is through these cuts that allow the light to enter our very beings.

May each and every one of decide to find the light within life’s storms.  May our endurance thrive as our powerful life journeys continue.

(Note: I am a writer, I use writing as a means of finding the answers to my many unexplained emotions and unanswered questions.)

 

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