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Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

Photo courtesy of Ann Cameron Siegal!

Photo courtesy of Ann Cameron Siegal!

All of our deepest truths are paradoxical when we try to express them in ordinary, linear discourse. Quote by Rabbi Jonathan Kligler

Time and again, I am amazed how challenging it is to share the deepest part of my soul or to hear the innermost feelings of others.  For me, to invite people into my world fully means sharing the layers of my being in a way that feels a little overwhelming. I am sure the same can be said for others. Each of us has a past, a skeleton that may be better left alone, but which is still part of our fabric.  We are also our dreams, our hopes, our obsessions, our darkness, and of course our light. At any given moment, we are navigating the world we live in and the world we are striving to live in.

Each and every one of us are human beings with deep thoughts and emotions.

Feelings are so complicated. Putting experiences into words can be daunting.  Life is complicated. And with that reality, simple words don’t always make sense. We use them because they are the tools we have in a world in which communication is essential.  But what does fully connecting look like? How can we intuit what is really being said when words are not enough?

Have you ever noticed how beautiful communicating can be with a lover who understands your intensity without ever needing to hear what you are thinking. They can look in your eyes and feel where you are; touch enables clarity to flow. Words can enhance what is happening, but the kindred energy is so much fuller when you can include the senses. In a different way, the same can be said for close friends and close family. In recent months, I have been blown away by the nature of all healthy relationships and I have been distressed by the connections that once were.

Words are never enough. Communication is made whole by the silence between the notes, the light or darkness in one’s eyes, a touch, or simply trust.

May each of us be blessed to experience relationships where we hear and feel heard.

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

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‎”Action is the antidote to despair.” -Joan Baez

Life encompasses so many waves of emotions. Frustration, happiness, anger, contentment, sadness, calmness, and despair. . . .the list is infinite.  For the most part, we can allow ourselves the space to navigate each wave by sitting with it, embracing it, or sometimes letting it go out into the world.  Despair, however, needs action or it will literally destroy you.

Sailboat1

Photo courtesy of
Shay Seaborne

While those that are facing despair might need to sit with it for a time, they will ultimately need to reach out of themselves and function in some small way if they will be able to move forward.  Despair is the profound sense of hopelessness that penetrates our being when something happens and we feel out of control. And while those in despair want to curl up in their cocoon and sometimes need to for a time, they equally need to find their way out of the cocoon too.

In the last few weeks, I have faced moments of despair.  An intense sense of loss takes over me when I fear for my sons’ health.  Both of my sons have faced serious health struggles that could have altered their lives in profound ways. Life is a gift; it is not a given.  So when we had our moment of utter fear that hell was visiting our home again, I literally crumbled.  The reality is that I couldn’t allow myself too long to become despondent because I had to act responsibly .  I had to act by taking my older son to doctors, MRIs, blood work, all while keeping perspective,  seeking information, and ultimately trusting that this was a moment and this moment would pass; I also had to go to work as I could.  There is no option for hope.  And to share the words of Tony Kushner that I shared in a recent blog, ““It’s an ethical obligation to look for hope; it’s an ethical obligation not to despair.  If you look, there is always a possibility of finding a place where action can change the course of things. ” Only through action can you propel yourself forward.  So I did what I needed to do and in the end, it feels like we have dodged a bullet and the moment of sheer fear is gone.  Moments happen; not every moment has to lead to hell.

While the above incident looms large in my life, I have also faced other challenges in life and work over the past weeks that can feel like momentary despair.  Friendships change; loved ones evolve; our children humble us; work struggles happen.  In any given day, we navigate moments of despair when we believe there is no solution.  Giving into those moments does nothing for our souls.  Nothing.  So with each moment, I have learned to acknowledge what is, allowing myself the space for sadness, anger, or tears. But for momentary despair, I have to move forward and find solutions to what’s going on at any given moment; there is no option.

Despair is a very real emotion.  And in truth, sometimes loss penetrates the soul and there is no hope, at least for a while.  For that I am deeply sad and sorry for anyone that has to go through that experience.  For most of us, despair has moments of complete darkness, but when we ride the wave, we find calmer waters and even hope.

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