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Posts Tagged ‘desert’

Intimacy happens when you have a deep and passionate relationship with someone or something outside of yourself.  Over the course of my life, I have amazing relationships that have sustained me and brought me to this time.  When I am in love with those around me or with something I believe in, a beautiful intensity flows through me and my world feels spiritually healthy.  When I lack intimacy, profound sadness takes root and living becomes a little harder.

I thrive on intimacy; it is through intimate relationships that I am able to feel whole as a human being.  Loved ones nurture me and help me become my best self; beliefs allow me to strive for integrity and help others to do the same; wandering in the great outdoors keeps me rooted in the earth; and writing has been my one and only constant through most every day of my life.  While I love mothering and being a friend; I love my work and all of my many interests.  I love life.  Unquestionably.  Writing is part of each and every one of those connections; writing transcends those connections.

Mt. Kimball courtesy of Dana R. Adler

Moving to the desert and walking in the great outdoors here has empowered me both physically and emotionally.  With each step in the desert, I find an even stronger desire to write and to reach out with my words.  The birds, the land, the insects, and the people are all reaching out to me and inspiring me to soar through my words and through my body.  I want to walk, to dance, to run; I want to write and write some more.  I can’t help but breathe deeply and hang on for the new experiences that await me.  The beauty of this land inspires me to grow as a woman and a writer.

Through writing, I have come to understand life with all of the intricacies. I have handled life’s biggest gifts and painful losses.  With each word written, I explore my dreams, my hopes, my decisions, and my feelings.  With each word, I unlock what is often hidden below the surface.  All of my writing comes from my soul.  Under the shroud of darkness, writing comforts me. When I am bursting with joy, my writing joins me for the ride.  And when I encounter questions of the soul, I write to find the answers.

Over the years, my journals have become my closest confidants.   Those relationships have sustained me and allowed me to thrive as I remain in touch with my essence.  For a time, I lost my ability to write when I experienced someone going through my writing.  Re-creating the sacred space that writing held in my heart took many years and many tears.  I had lost my safe space; I had lost the cocoon that had protected me for so many years.

Finding my voice again is a continuing odyssey; today I write through the vulnerability so that I am no longer silenced.  The good news is that while I did become silenced as a writer, I did ultimately find my voice through chanting and drumming, and through beautiful connections with loved ones.  Even though loss often feels devastating, even burned forests can thrive again; it just takes time.

I write to process life, to actively engage in life and to create new rhythms for moving forward within life.  I write to gain a new foundation and to find balance.  Ultimately, writing is one of life’s antidotes for inner peace and balance.

With every ounce of my being, I pray that my very intimate and beautiful relationship with written word is never halted again.  May the remainder of my life allow me the sacred space and sacred ability to weave words together sometimes for others and always for myself.

 Writing,

the song of my heart;

the meaning of my mind;

the feeling of my soul;

Is what makes me One!

 

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Day 2 – June 23, 2012

“It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.”  ~Ursula K. Le Guin

Heading to the Tucson is synonymous (for Aryeh) to heading to the f*cking desert.  With that in mind, my friend Laurie Siegel posted on Facebook, “You’re Jews. You’re going to the desert. It’s a a natural thing. Maybe you’ll find manna there…..”  So with that in mind, we are now in search of more gifts and knives; each step of this trek and becoming connected to Temple Emanu-El has been an example of basheret (it is meant to be).  I love how Laurie gave us yet another new insight for this journey!

Last night is a bit of a blur because we got into the room and I crashed hard!!!  Our day ended up both fairly good and fairly grueling too; it isn’t easy to keep driving for days on end without really chilling.  My hope is today will be an easy day with a little fun in Memphis and an early night.  We aren’t going to make much ground and I need to be good with that!

What’s fascinating about this trek is that we are meeting kind people wherever we go.  Everyone has a story that they want to share; fortunately our family likes to listen.  After one such conversation yesterday afternoon, the waitress gave me her email address and Aryeh asked me why I don’t become a professional coach/therapist.  My response was simple, I love people; I love listening and giving people new tools for how they can engage in life.

One reality that has become obvious on this trek is that many people are born in an area, stay in that area, and never have or make the opportunity to leave what they know.  Of course, I know this on one level, but that has never been my world.  Even in my own family, there are those who still live within miles of where they grew up in a similar economic setting too.

Aryeh and Dovi have been fabulous troopers.  We have been laughing together and enjoying each other’s company.  We have had to navigate each others rhythms and moods with grace.  Mostly we have done a great job with brief moments of attitude in the mix.  Yesterday, we found a dive of a location with a fabulous knife shop and later we found Dovi a bookstore and an ice cream shop too!  Dovi has read 3 books in two days and needed a new fantasy series, so we purchased three books of a new series.  Wondering how long it will take for him finish these books.

Each day of our trek, we are keeping a journal with notes of what stands out.  Yesterday’s realizations include:

  1. Each of us love meeting strangers who quickly become friends.  At Cracker Barrel, two waitresses and the manager kept hanging out at our table while we spoke of everything from the area, to sick parents, health challenges, unwed motherhood, and life.
  2. Chava’s love of finding cool names for roads continues.  Yesterday’s finds include Lovers Lane, Rural Retreat, and Butter Milk Road.  Each name has a story I am sure.
  3. Dovi can be relentless when it comes to finding ice cream or a bookstore.  Wow….who knew he was so tenacious about getting what he wants. 😉
  4.  Aryeh may plan to get one new knife on a road trip, but sometimes three call his name. 🙂  Aryeh decided that knives are neither space or stuff. (Chava thinks that is wishful thinking.)
  5. Time change is  worthy of a great argument.  Dovi wanted to honor the old time while Chava had already moved forward (or should I say backward).  And Aryeh couldn’t figure out how to write the correct time in our journal.
  6. Chava remembers more country music than she thought;  either that or the words/tunes of the new music is just like the old music.
  7. We really do need to stop driving by 8 or 8:30, we were all wiped when we ended up at a retro-cheesy Motel 6 in Dickson Tennessee.

Today we head to Memphis.  We are hoping to hang out on Beale Street, The Rock and Soul Museum, and find kosher meat for Aryeh too!

All is good in the world.

L’Chayim

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