Holy Water . . . Holy Work

We make our habits, and then our habits make us.”
John Dryden

Life is a journey that can totally deplete us, but can also empower us to stretch and grow. Personally, I do a much better job once I realize that living consciously makes a profound difference with every step I take. Sure, I wish my heart never shattered and my body didn’t hurt, but sometimes they do. Damn.

There are periods of time when I feel broken and ill equipped to navigate life, but once I realize my role in the hard stuff, I can plunge right into action. That starts by taking a deep breath and beginning to put the puzzle pieces of my life where they need to go. While at first it may be painfully challenging, it is also a non-negotiable . . . although there are moments when I forget this reality. The truth is each of us need to go through our pain; I am no different.

Healing is holy work.

The beautiful news is that once I open up to the possibilities, I can choose how to proceed. My deep sadness, my physical achiness, or my overall intensity doesn’t have to take over my spirit – at least not on a permanent basis.

And yet, how often do I go to unhealthy defaults. For me, it may mean eating the wrong foods or not doing what I need to be healthy. Over the years, I have often forgotten that my habits can either keep me healthy or burden me. Without question, I believe that everything I do matters.

With that in mind, I want to share a few of the ways, I cope with some of the deep sadness that I have been feeling since March. In March, our country lost our norm with COVID and my heart broke when a beloved relationship needed to dramatically shift. Both left me treading water and crying big ugly tears. And on a bad day, both still do.

Pain has a way of causing watershed moments and at the same time, water has a way of healing.

As much as I cry big, ugly tears and tread water to stay afloat, I also run to the water when my spirit needs calming. And when my body aches, it is water that seems to ‘oil’ my body so that it better functions.

Running to the water – always

Water is one of the hugest gifts in my healing toolbox.

1. I ride waves daily and sometimes I simply tread water. I do what I need to do.
2. I drink a ton of cold water and sometimes warm water to help me stay hydrated, clear headed, and physically malleable.
3. Whenever I can, I run to the water (ocean, bay, river, or lake) and just stare out to the soothing waters – sometimes for hours.

AND there are a few morning practices that guide me daily or nearly daily:

1. As soon as I open my eyes in the morning, I start moving. For the most part I rarely use an alarm clock, instead I wake up when the universe shakes me up and then I start functioning.
2. I always make my bed as soon as I can (or as soon as my puppy, Magic, allows me). This habit allows me to always be successful at the start of my day.
3. Do The 5 Second Journal – This journal invites me to reflect where I am and to plan my day too. For the most part, Mel Robbins’ journal opens my spirit while easing me into my day.
4. Stretch my very stiff body. Ever since I had back surgery a few years ago, I can’t seem to leave the stiffness behind, but I am grateful that my stretching routine helps me feel to keep moving.
5. On a good day, I walk 3-5 miles. I love when the cooler weather conspires to have me meet what has become a daily goal.
6. Thanks to Chase Jarvis, creativity has become a daily part of my life. Since hearing his amazing podcasts, The Chase Jarvis Live Show, I have found a creative rhythm that propels me forward, inspires happiness, and keeps me grounded.

Holy living is possible because I have learned to honor my journey to healing and ultimately to life. Yes it’s hard at times, but I always get to choose how I will negotiate moving forward.

Holy living is a gift. AND water has a way of making nearly everything better.

Onward with love, light, & blessings,
Chava

PS: Thanks for reading what will likely be part of my memoir which at this point is being called, Living Out Loud: A Thriver’s Journey. If you like what you are reading, please take a moment and like it on WordPress or any social media site, AND if you have feedback, I’d love to hear it.

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Day 22 – #The100DayProject: #ActivistCardsByChava

(Note: To learn more information on #The100DayProject which is also known as #ActivistCardsByChava, you can see https://wp.me/pthnB-3cH.)

Life isn’t easy. There is so much that we are handling at any given moment. The world is feeling daunting in this moment . . .  politics, family, internal strife, unwanted deadlines, loneliness, hurdles. Even the good stuff like the work, Jewish holidays, time to walk, and loved ones can be daunting. Life is what it is and I am always navigating my spirit’s intensity.

While I may sometimes want to hide in a cocoon, it behooves me to keep showing up and seek out the possibilities. The world is calling to me with open hands or maybe just open windows.

Exploring the world, meeting people where they are, fully connecting with old and new friends, embracing new ideas, playing at every chance – these are the ways that our potentials will soar.

Take a deep breath and join me in open your hearts to possibilities! I am on it! Are you?

Together we can make a world that makes us proud.

Onward with love, light, & action,
Chava

PS – I’d love your feedback on my blog, my writing, my thinking, and/or my Activist Cards!!! Feel free to like or comment. I will try to respond to all comments to this blog. Input is always welcome.

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Time to Heal: Building a Stronger Foundation

Over the past months, I have struggled to find balance and to quiet my spirit. Inside my soul, I could feel my body, my mind, and my soul wrestling. They were struggling with a broken heart, the feeling that I wasn’t enough in any area of my life, and with this deep seeded pain that I would always be a fat blob.  Yes my body image was in the gutter. There were hours of every day that I felt like I couldn’t take a deep breath or that my heart was shattering into too many pieces to count. Besides. . .who would even want to try counting the the pieces of my broken heart? Who would want to hold someone who has lost all roots and was crumbling to the ground?

This darkness lasted for a few very long months until I realized that slowly I was breathing a little deeper and sparks of light were finding a way into my heart. Tears stopped falling with intensity and eventually they stopped falling with any regularity at all. And then there were the mornings that I could look at myself in the mirror without cringing.

I am not sure if I can quite say what switched, but I opened my eyes a little wider, I listened to the noise around me and the quiet inside me with more awareness, and I took some time to just be where I was.

The process that I went through and that I am still navigating has become about honoring myself the best way I can by building a stronger foundation. In order to become stronger I had to process the pain and darkness that had settled inside of me.

What I have known with clarity is that there was not one thing that left me with such sadness. I feel all emotions with every fiber of my being. This means that on the days that I am unable to compartmentalize life’s many moving parts, I will drown in a sea of sorrows or simply in my own intensity.

Yes the last few months have sucked. . . completely sucked, but they also created the opportunity for me to look inward and the time to heal. Eventually the harsh realities didn’t feel so harsh and with that I began to see my roots take a firmer hold of the earth.

And that is when the real work began. . . .

Reveling in setting the foundation, the framework, the intentions.
Connecting with understanding, compassion, balance, strength and awareness.
Honoring the journey.
Reflection by: Sue Dorfman

Courtesy of photographer Sue Dorfman

Sometimes the perfect words or the perfect picture show up exactly when you need them. As I was waking up, I was looking for what I needed to do so that I could become a little stronger.

This new journey that I am on is not simple.  With a long path ahead of me, I realized that I needed to set up some boundaries for myself. This meant deep reflection:

• What was missing from my life?
• Does writing guide my every step? If it doesn’t, it needs to.
• Am I doing enough to nourish and nurture my spirit?
• Have I been creative enough?
• Do I take time to play?
• Am I moving in a way that feels good for my body?
• Am I moving enough?
• How am I choosing to fuel my body and my brain?
• Can I do more to make this world a better place? Or what do I have to do differently so that my impact in this world is more positive?
• Is stretching, reaching, and growing an active part of my day?

If I am really going to be the healthiest that I can be, I need to be guided by deep seeded accountability multiple times every day.

• Am I living authentically?
• Am I choosing to hide behind a mask that others decorate?
• Am I being the chameleon that fits into the world as I believe others want me to?

Over the last few weeks, I began to see that I was living behind a shadow of my own making. This realization means that it is time for me to actively return to strengthening my foundation with clear intentions while using this clarity to build the body, mind, and soul I want.

The work is daunting and yet it is also profoundly rewarding too. Each day I am gaining ground and celebrating more and more successes. I am also taking responsibility for navigating my life with intention as I actively engage in putting together the puzzle pieces of my body, mind, and soul. Only through that journey will I be able to soar and better become the woman I want to be.

Join me over the coming weeks as I unveil some of the moving parts that I am navigating and myriad of ways I hope to stretch, to grow, and ultimately to heal. My hope is that as I share some of my story, I may inspire you in some small way.

Onward with love, light, and blessings,
Chava

(Note: If you read to the end and if you like what I have to share, I’d love it if you would let me know by liking or commenting on my post.)

 

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Reality Check: Third World Problems

i miss the loving energy that once fueled my soul
i know that tonight is a moment. . .
the sun will shine tomorrow
the blessing is that i always find my way

Life is messy. With the many moving parts, gifts and complications exist at every turn. No matter how good things appear on the outside, my inside is full and always have been.  Mostly I navigate and find light, but sometimes darkness permeates my being.

I struggle with some of life’s realities. My car needs another $900 of work; I never have enough time to nurture my creative spirit; I am not sure how I will afford this month or next; the world is full of so much hatred.

At the same time, I have the most amazing Monday Morning Torah Study Chavurah (group); my family is healthy; I have recently lost 26 lbs by better taking care of myself; my friends are the most amazing people in the world; writing jazzes my soul; my new position reminds me that I make a difference to others as a Jewish Educator.  There is so much to be grateful for.

Finding balance can be so hard. Yet this morning, after I took a deep breath, I realized no matter how difficult my life can feel, I have most of what I need. And the things that I think I need. . . probably aren’t needs.

There are so many people that need more than they have. A mattress on the floor would be better than the ground they have to rest their head on each night.  Being a vegetarian is a choice I have made; there are many people that would be blessed to have a morsel of food or a clean glass of water. While I am missing the changing leaves, the Tucson skies, and the ocean, I am living in a city that offers walking paths and playgrounds in nearly every area. My world really is quite amazing.

In order to go inward and celebrate the life I have, I am slowly allowing myself to go to a more silent place.  The more I voice my ‘third world problems’, the larger the challenges seem to loom. I want to be a little more quiet and allow for the gratitude to flow through me.  I am surrounded by love, by beauty, and loving souls.

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

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Omer Reflections: My Journey Towards Wholeness – Day 19

Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom. For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for others, it is a tool for exploring the kabbalistic teachings in an organized way. For me, it is a time to actively reflect on my Journey Towards Wholeness. The more I am whole, the more free I will become.  [http://t.co/dBPYjDxSGj . . . .]

“The calm mind allows one to connect with the inner self, the Soul,
the very source of our being. That’s where the music lives.
That’s where my music comes from”.
~Clarence Clemons

Honoring My Journey Towards Wholeness means that even as I accept life’s many moving parts, I also need to take the time to quiet my body, mind, and soul.

So, tonight I decided to take a long walk and many deep breaths which ultimately allowed for sweet nigunim (wordless melodies) to fill my soul. The calm winds blowing over the lakefront offered my spirit exactly what it needed.

After my hour or so outdoors, I felt so much more connected to my breath and balanced too.

May nurturing our spirits become a norm within our lives.

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

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