Posts Tagged ‘danger’

“You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. What you need is to recognize the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment and to embrace them with courage, faith and hope.” 

Thomas Merton

Lessons come when you least expect.

Over the past couple of months I have experienced one of the lowest periods of time in my life.  Functioning was a challenge and breathing deeply was something I couldn’t do.  Fortunately, I started to emerge from the darkness shortly before Passover.  I began to realize that I could thrive again and that regardless of what I was facing, I would be OK.

Ironically today was one of the first days I woke up with a smile on my face again.  Over the past couple of weeks, I had started chanting again and finding the light inside of me as I believed in the light of the universe around me.  I am absolutely a work in progress. 🙂  In fact, I had been chanting “Shining” http://www.rabbishefagold.com/Shining.html for a good 30 minutes while I was driving until I got on the back roads of my son’s school and then I had gone into the silence in anticipation of the wonderful chattering that happens when I first see my son after school.

Chanting ‘Shining’ helped me remember that there is a light in me and that there is also a light that surrounds upon me too.  My teacher, Rabbi Shefa Gold, interprets this verse as follows:

  Arise and shine for your light has come, and the Glory of God is shining upon you.
(Isaiah 60:1)

But the silence didn’t last long, as soon as I hit the country road, I felt intense fear like I have never before faced.  Approximately, ten minutes from my son’s school a car started following me.  The pick up truck swerved all over the road, slowed down, sped up and then would stop suddenly near my bumper.  I was being threatened in a way I have never experienced.  I am quietly laughing at the last sentence because I have faced extreme violence in my life, but this was different.

As the car was following me, I found myself terrified, but also doing some incredible spiritual work.  I was breathing in light and sending it out into the world and I was chanting.  The chant that came to me was ‘Sowing Our Tears’.  Those who sow in tears will reap in joyous song. (Psalm 126:5) The words and the breathing filled me as I managed to keep moving.  At some point, I was able to call 911, but the call was dropped because of the lack of a signal on my cell phone.  The bottom-line is that I emerged from experience.

Since coming home, I have found myself in a quiet space filled with gratitude; I have also been shaking inside and trying to breathe in the light.

I am so grateful to the universe that nothing happened to me; I am also relieved that my day began with a smile and that I am actively emerging from darkness.

Breathing deeply and chanting helped surround me with light; I truly do not know what would have happened if I didn’t have these tools and the beautiful practice of chanting.

May we all be blessed to find the light within ourselves and the chant that speaks for us when we need it.

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