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Posts Tagged ‘core’

Blogging is what I do.  I love writing and sharing my heart, my mind, and my soul.

 

If this is your first time reading this series of my blog, please take a moment and read the introduction Elul Journey: A New Year Is Emerging – 5775 Introduction http://t.co/Y6vmXdO6GJ

This is what it takes to create a spiritual home wherever you go.

This is what it takes to create a spiritual home wherever you go.

Reflection

Over the past 4 days, since Rosh Hodesh Elul (the beginning of the Jewish month of Elul), I have been actively preparing for Rosh HaShana and loving every moment of it.  And then suddenly this morning as I sang some of the verses from Psalm 27*, I felt a bit bereft because for the first time in my life, I do not feel like I have a spiritual home.  As a professional Jew, I have previously had communities that were easier for me to be a part of spiritually, but I have rarely felt uncomfortable in a community I have worked.  Only one time, I heard a rabbi give a sermon on Yom Kippur in which he said that Tisha B’Av should be disregarded.  It was the one and only time I almost walked out of High Holy Day services with my family.

Judaism is a part of my essence.  I love how it fits into my life, pushes me to think, and creates a cocoon where I can live.

I am a God-Wrestler.  I question, I pray, I hope, I vision and I wrestle.  And on the days that I don’t quite know how God fits into my practice of Judaism, I let go and trust the universe.  And throughout it all, I try to live a life of Godliness.  Every place I walk is a sanctuary, so why in this moment should I feel like I have no spiritual home.  The mountains and the desert are seriously my sanctuary.  I love the earth; I love so many special spaces that exude God-like energy.  I used to have a yoga studio that felt like God’s sanctuary.  Today, there is no space that is calling me for the Rosh HaShanah, yet I have to take my kids to services for the High Holy Days.

And did I say, I literally have no money for the holidays or for much? What a concept for me.  The good news is that my old ‘congregation’ of employment wouldn’t turn me a way and I believe other congregations would open their doors too, but still it is sad for me.  I believe that if I weren’t a mother, I would choose to create a spiritual space by myself or with a few others.  I love Judaism and I love living it!

So as I take each day of Elul to create a stronger physical and spiritual core, I am grappling with feeling like I have no place to go.  And yet, in reality, I know that my sons and I will feel comfortable wherever we go.  Tucson is full of loving synagogue communities.  Can’t wait to hear the shofar blown as I sit within community.

Feeling blessed even as I struggle with some challenging realities.  The sun and moon always shine brightly in the desert.

With blessings & light,
Chava

*From Rosh Hodesh Elul through Simchat Torah, it is part of the Jewish tradition to say Psalm 27 two times a day.  Here is a link to the Psalm in Hebrew and English. http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2627.htm

 

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Last night we counted Day 32 of the Omer, which is 4 weeks and four days of the counting. Today is referred to as Netzach sheh b’Hod, Endurance within Expansiveness.

Did you look at the full moon last night? Amazing. . .truly amazing!!

Photo courtesy of Wicca Davidson

Photo courtesy of Wicca Davidson

There is something about the moon that always touches me deeply; I love watching her cycle, feeling the guidance of her light, and feeling her soothing energy.  Each and every time I see the moon in all of her expansiveness, my heart beats a little faster and peacefulness seeps into my heart.

The moon has always been my comfort, my confidant, and my constant.  The moon is simply always there to nurture my spirit.  When I struggle with life, I feel supported through all that I am navigating; the moon is soothing my spirit with her gentle light.  When the moon is bright, her light joins me as I chant from my heart; when the tears start to flow, I don’t have to hide them.  Quite simply the moon is with me every day of my life and always has been.

Life is full of gifts and challenges, light and dark times, beauty and ugliness.  Reality isn’t always easy; reality isn’t always hard.  Having the moon guide me through each and every night makes it possible for me to thrive as I do.  Her light warms my soul and illuminates my core.

Tonight as you look at the moon, feel her essence illuminate yours.

 

helps me remain open to the possibilities that surround me.  The muted light connects me to the world with a realistic light for

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