Posts Tagged ‘Carolyn Riker’

Sometimes my body tells me when it is time to stop and to breathe a little more deeply.  If I am wise enough and make the time to listen, the subtle hints will guide me in the ‘right’ direction; if not, a cyclone will take over my body until I do what I should have done in the first place.

Lavender photo

“Field of Lavender” – Courtesy of Carolyn Riker

How do I know this?

My body is recovering from revolting to life’s journeys.  Over the past many months, I have had to navigate upheaval at every turn. Today I am lucky, I am in the midst of landing in Houston where I will begin a new position in a just over three weeks.  In the meantime, I have nesting to do as well as my consulting work with Lev Shalem Institute.

To say that I feel spiritually great feels inadequate.  My entire world is flowing with fortunate blessings, my cup is overflowing. And yet, I am human.  I have been handling too much, I am still struggling financially and trying to be an incredible mother to my growing sons. I am also making some very holy choices for how to live more consciously and nurture my writer’s soul.

The work can feel overwhelming and last week’s move from Virginia to Texas took my last reserve. The trek was physically hard, the food on the road did not agree with me, and the cyclone hit with a vengeance within 18 hours of arriving in Houston.

To say that my digestive system is trashed and I feel like I have been hit by a Mack Truck is only the tip of the iceberg. Or maybe it is the iceberg. . . And I was too weak to call for help and perhaps a little embarrassed that I needed help. I pride myself on being self-reliant and emotionally strong, but I am very much an average person. In fact I wouldn’t have made it this far over the last 18 months without the love and care from my village of beloveds.

Being slammed with this intense pain and dysfunction upon landing may have been just the gift I needed. Of course, that doesn’t mean this is an easy time, it just means that I acknowledging that life is full of gifts even within the challenges. Last  night my symptoms were joined with a fever and a little respiratory frustration, today I am a little better.

With all of this in mind, I know that I don’t have a choice, I have a body to take care of and a mind that needs loving-kindness. So, I am taking time to rest and move gently, write and hydrate.  This is my life.  I am thinking it may be time to listen carefully to all that my body is saying.

With love, light, and blessings,

PS – I am wondering if it makes sense to make a create a lavender pillow to help my body and mind rest.  After seeing my friend Carolyn’s Riker’s photo above, I became aware that I need to surround myself with healing thoughts, healthy life choices, and a pillow to lay my head (metaphoric or real).

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Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom. For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for others, it is a tool for exploring the kabbalistic teachings in an organized way. For me, it is a time to actively reflect on my Journey Towards Wholeness. The more I am whole, the more free I will become.  [http://t.co/dBPYjDxSGj . . . .]

Let It Flow

tears can fill the sea

After 49 years of life, I am beginning to ‘get it’.

Whatever I feel is OK, it is what I feel – it is what it is. There is no reason for me to hide my heart from those in my inner circle. While I may have to wait a little while to share the fullness of my emotions, a true loved one will support me wherever I stand.

During my younger years, I didn’t know how to express what I felt and then as I reached beyond my teens and early 20s, I struggled with my emotions.  Over the years, I slowly began to understand that I was loved and that people cared; my friends and some of my family were really ok with me sharing my feelings. But it took me years to understand the deep emotions that I felt on a daily basis. I feel intensely; it is a reality of my core being.

While initially, I learned to express myself through my writing, I did eventually grow to understand that having deep feelings was not inappropriate in any way. Throughout my late-thirties and forties, I came treasure my intensity. I learned that my voice mattered and that it was ok to share the fullness of my spirit. In truth, I believe that most of my adulthood has been blessed to be accepted for who I am.

Topsail, NC Courtesy of Tamar BenArdout

Topsail, North Carolina
Courtesy of Tamar BenArdout

May all of us be blessed to surround ourselves with people that really allow our feelings to go where they feel compelled to go. May we let our tears, our joy, and all of our being flow wherever it needs to go.

With love, light, and joy,

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