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Posts Tagged ‘Cafe Passe’

Note: I will be Counting the Omer for a total of 49 days, from Passover to Shavuot or from Slavery to Freedom.  For many, this is simply the Counting the Omer; for me, it is a time to actively reflect on different middot (character traits) that will lead me to my own rebirth.

Middah (character trait) focus: Believe

 

Sometimes we need a reminder that we have what it takes to move forward. . .so I made my simple memento :)

Sometimes we need a reminder that we have what it takes to move forward. . .so I made my simple memento 🙂

Sometimes life gives you more than you think you can handle.  As an optimist, I often find the gifts in the challenges, but lately it is a little easier said than done.  I have blocks of time when the struggle feels a little more scary than I can handle.  And knowledge that the bills are barely getting paid is overwhelming.  Yet I am also lucky, my dark moods rarely stay that way for too long.  Mostly I believe that the sun will come out soon and life will get easier.  Seeing reminders that foster positive feelings can definitely be a good thing.

Last spring was a little rough.  Ironically at the the time, I did not know that things would get even more difficult – in retrospect that was probably a good thing.  Anyway one day during that time period, a friend of mine called and asked me what do I need as I walk through all that is going on.  My response was courage, strength, and hope; and just like that the words appeared.  So I used a postcard from my favorite cafe/bar, Cafe Passe, and I made a little memento as a reminder of what I need to walk through life.

May I always have the courage to do what I need to do, the strength to move forward, and hope as I navigate this journey.  With each step I take may I believe in myself and the universe; may this be true for you and your journey too!

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theLight

Cafe Passe lights up my life, literally.  Each and every time I come to this unique space, my entire body sings.  I love the textured walls, the light fixtures, the vines and plants that are surrounding the courtyard that feels comfortable regardless of how hard the chair is.  The sound of the trains passing by comfort me like a soft lullaby.

writing,
t
he song of my heart;
the meaning of my mind,
the feeling of my soul;
I
s what makes me whole.

Each and every time, I sit down to write, my raw emotions bubble to the surface,  Writing allows me the space to be free and to emerge as the person I am.  With writing I do not hide behind the silence that sometimes guides me.  With writing, I feel like I am nestled in the embrace of my lover, my loyal friend, and the love of my life.  How beautiful is that?!?!

So today when I came back to my long lost favorite writing place away from home, I found the cocoon that makes me feel at one with my being.

Yay!!!! I am happy!

May each of us find

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The past few days have had moments of darkness, but not for long. . . .

With each deep breath, I have found myself amazed at the gifts that surround me.  I feel felt loved and valued; supported and cared for.  Dark moments have come and gone quickly, while the gifts remain embedded in my being.  Here are the ones that jumped out at me quite easily:

BoysPlaying Backgammon

The Biggest Gift of All!

  1. Aryeh completed two philosophy papers in spite of enormous self-doubt.
  2. Breakfast with a colleague who is fast becoming a friend!
  3. Saving over $10 at Bookman’s because I told the cashier about the concept of “Creative Paying It Forward” https://lightwavejourney.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/another-facebook-journey-2013-creative-pay-it-forward/
  4. A gift of 2 bottles of Hot Sauce from a new friend.  I am still wondering how she knew I haven’t found hot sauce since posting a question on FB.
  5. Dovi’s hands are healing
  6. Maddie
  7. Summit Hut
  8. Friends wanting to know about my upcoming birthday
  9. Night Skies
  10. Time
  11. Learning to let go and to accept new realities
  12. Hanging out at Bookmans
  13. Keep Smiling Cards http://www.thedailysmile.com/
  14. Text conversation that come at the perfect moment
  15. Aryeh’s idea: saving junk-mail for a month as a means of informing others
  16. Louis’ Reality Check card
  17. Finding New Music to jazz my soul
  18. Writing time
  19. Cafe Passe
  20. Watching my boys interact all night
  21. Perspective
  22. Unexpected voice messages
  23. Great books
  24. Facebook
  25. Beautiful weather
  26. Writing a New Chant
  27. Tough moments that are actually easier than expected
  28. Unexpected and positive conversations
  29. Drumming
  30. Looking forward to a day -off tomorrow
  31. Surrounding Mountains
  32. A Good Book
  33. Anticipation
  34. Laughter
  35. Sleep is around the corner
  36. Double-Chai (18×2 = Life x 2)

Over the past year, I have decided that I have the power to decide how I will walk through life’s journeys.  While some moments are tough to navigate, looking a little further has the ability to fill my soul with the fuel it needs.

While I am bone tired, I am feeling invigorated by the awareness that dark moods don’t have remain imbedded in my being.  Gifts really do surround me nearly at every corner.; all I have to do is notice them.

l’Chayim! To Life!

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cpasse-logo

Sitting here at Café Passé, thinking, dreaming, writing . . .

Thinking

Seems to be what I do these days.

I think about the role I play in society.

I think about where I am going.

I think about how I am going to get there.

And when all is done, I think some more.

I think about what is going on around me.

I think about the tears I feel in my soul and the tears that others feel.

And when that is done, I sit and I think about the world around me and I think about how I will one day make a difference.  Will there ever come a time in my life when I truly touch the lives of others?

Today, as I ordered my Hot Chai, I found myself laughing inside.  I can’t just order a drink without thinking/considering.

  • Is it organic?
  • Is it fair-trade?
  • Did I remember to say that I was drinking here? I don’t want to create trash.

I wonder if I have the guts to borrow a TV and create a Fair-Trade Chocolate evening.  Has my time come now to follow my derekh, my prana, my path?  There are three different ways to say the same thought, yet each expression means virtually the same thing.  Has the time come for me to use my voice?  Can I be articulate?

So many thoughts are racing through my head as I sip the Hot Chai Drink and not the Hot Chocolate I really want.

Dreaming

Dreams don’t really come true, do they?  I am just not certain.

Basically, I have to ‘pray as if only Gd exists and act as if I am the the one that can make a difference.”

So many prayers, hopes, and dreams are on my subconscious;

I keep reaching for the stars only to struggle with  where my dreams land.

I dream of a safe world where no one I love hurts.

I dream of holy place that brings health and joy to all that enter.

I dream of a world full of both inner peace and peace for all.

I dream of growing a strong foundation filled with the inner strength to navigate this world.

I dream of filling my container with light and spreading that light into the world around me.

So many dreams, so many hopes . . .so many hopes, so many dreams.

Writing

With my words, I weave my thoughts and my dreams into reality.

With my words I grasp for the wisdom to navigate the world around me and I grapple within my journey and the journey of the universe I live.

I explore; I create; I build the life I want.

With my words and the words of others, anything becomes a possibility.

All I truly have is the words of my soul; the words that make me who I am in this moment.

Only through my writing am I true to myself and to the possibilities of my soul.

Finally

With each breath, I visualize a warm light radiating through my entire being.

With each exhalation, I visualize that same light transferring into the world around me.
May I find the balance to do the holy work that I was brought in this world to do.  May we all find the balance to do the holy work that we were brought in this world to do.

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Moving to Tucson was a leap of faith for me.  I knew I had to leave the rhythm of the DC and seek a new rhythm elsewhere.  The blessing is that I found Tucson and fell in love with the rhythm of the land.  The love grows daily with almost no watering.  For now I am home and perhaps I will create a community of friends that sustain me long term; I don’t know that yet.   Even as I say that, I am also in the midst of creating solitude for myself.  I love to write; I love to chant. I even love being alone.  At the same time, I am lonely at times, but learning to turn the loneliness into a cocoon of warmth for myself.  For so long, I have hidden my feelings from even myself; I am facing them today.

Many paths lead to the mountain.

The funniest part of being here is that I am accepting a part of myself that I never quite connected with before.  While I can do what I need to do; I would love to fade into the woodwork more than I ever have.  I would love to walk a little quieter and allow for my more introverted personality.  In my core, I am shy in so many ways.  I find myself nurturing the connections that allow me to be most authentic.

Living in Tucson has connected me to the world in a way that I have never quite experienced before now.  Each and every day I am touched deeply by new sounds, sights, sensations, or experiences; I am seeing life as I have never seen it before.  I have always loved nature, but this is different.  The rhythm of the earth is quickly becoming my greatest teacher.  I am learning to trust the rhythm as I become more conscious about the not only my life, but the many lives that surround me.

Each and every morning, I open my eyes around 4 AM.  Some refer to this as the un-Godly hour, but to me it is fast becoming the most sacred time of the entire day. Morning loneliness gives way to a gentle calmness.  I have come to love the rising of the sun; the sun calls me to action.  With each step, my morning walks with my dog Maddie have taught me so much. I notice the change in the trees,and  the cacti, the land; I notice the weather, the rising of the sun, and morning skies.  I am learning about life as I notice the life that surrounds me.

Now that I am in Tucson, I no longer feel directionally impaired at every turn.   The Catalina Mountains and my new toe shoes always make me feel grounded on my new terrain.  The rising of the sun and the setting of the sun have made certain that I always know the difference between east and west.

With each passing day, I grow; new insights surround me when my eyes, ears, and heart remain open.  My feet take me on a journey that is slowly helping me to become a stronger and more spiritually grounded human being.  While I mourn what I have lost this year, I am finding solace in the many new gifts.  Those that know me well, know that I treasure the Shehecheyanu moments, the moments when you say a blessing for new ‘experiences’ in a lifetime and sometimes for the first time you face something within a year’s time.  Every day seems to be full of them.  Here are some examples:

  • Stopped to allow a snake to cross the road.
  • Saw my first pomegrante tree; and now I watch it change with each passing day.
  • Introduced to my first tarantula.
  • Went walking in Sabino Canyon way after dark.
  • Ate my first dragon fruit.
  • Found and fell in love with Maddie, my new furry dog.
  • Making new friends who are touching me deeply.
  • New hikes weekly.
  • Cafe Passe is my home away from home.  With each and every word I write, I feel like Cafe Passe brings beautiful Shehecheyanu moments.

The Rhythm of the Earth touches me differently now.  As I burrow into the life of the dessert, I am looking deep inside and working towards being an even better me.  While I have always done that, I no longer have the crutches that once held me up; with this move and with the cycle of life, I have experienced some loss.  Yet I have also found so many blessings and much beauty to help me weather the loss.  Loving Tucson and my new community is helping me move forward.

Exhaustion now comes earlier than I ever imagined it would; at the same time, sleep is sweeter than it has ever been.  The rhythm of the earth is guiding me to a more peaceful place.  With each step, I am opening my heart to what surrounds me and treasuring what I have.  Wow, I am profoundly fortunate.

Now that I have been here for nearly five months, it is time for me to re-connect more with those I love and adore.  Just because I moved to Tucson doesn’t mean I had to lose the ones I love.  Now it is time to integrate all the parts of my life so I become more whole or shalem.  My soul friends mean the world to me! I’ve missed walking with them over the last few months, but now I need to do a better job of staying connected to those I love.

May the rhythm of the earth help me to grow and evolve with each and every step.  May my heart allow the beauty I see to seep into my soul.

With love, light, and blessings. . . .

 

 

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