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Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

waking up this morning, the universe has felt totally aligned for me.

my body moved as I needed it to move. my heart felt and still feels whole. by 5 AM, I was on my ayurvedic journey. i had done my loving-kindness meditation, drank a cup of fenugreek tea, and now I am drinking holy basil tea.

it’s only 6:22 AM and I feel ALIVE, beautiful, and centered. everything feels balanced. WOW!

i have already journaled, and now I am writing a short blog.

sure there are bills that I am struggling to pay, weight that I need to lose for my health/back, and family challenges. there are also amazing and inspiring friends, a snoring pup at my feet, and a job that I can’t wait to get to today.

there are also paint brushes that need to be used, books that are being read, and a world to explore.

music-of-her-soul

courtesey of terri st. cloud of bone sigh arts at: http://bit.ly/2tzcBxD

perhaps best of all was opening up my morning email from terri st. cloud of bone sigh arts to see this amazing prose and picture. I love terri’s work, it always shows up at the perfect time!

each and every word here speaks of my soul; my entire being is reverberating with a rhythm that reminds me that:

I am alive.

I am thriving.

I have arrived to this exquisite time.

synchronicity abounds.

 

ps: confirmation that I really am a writer came when someone ‘liked’ a blog and then became a follower. when I went to the specific blog (http://bit.ly/2uSVhry) that was ‘liked’, I found that it resonated with me too. and then WordPress asked me for feedback about their blog platform. I am not sure if they will respond to my feedback, but I hope so. I so want to grow THIS blog!

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Feb 2015  Walking from behind

be softer with you.
you are a breathing thing.
a memory to someone.
a home to a life.

Nayyirah Waheed’s Precious Words

 

 

(Note – Over the coming weeks, I will be exploring the power of social media. The connections I have made and the growth I have experienced has helped me to grow exponentially more than I ever would have before social media touched my life. I want to shout out a special thank you to those that engage in this platform and inspire all of us to stretch and to evolve into even healthier human beings than we already are. I adore my tribe, all of my tribes. )

Transformation. . . I am a work in progress.

Creating a healthy body image has been and continues to be a very real struggle for me. I could probably find someone to blame for my fairly horrific body image – my mother, my childhood neighbors/classmates, or maybe even the media. And yet, that wouldn’t be fair.

Whatever happened in the past or how I have seen women portrayed in the media is irrelevant; I am responsible for who I am today and what I do with my memories and perceptions of the past. It is truly a blessing to be able slowly transform my self image and fall in love with woman I am.

While I still pause when it is time to look at myself in the mirror, I have mostly stopped the negative self talk. I am relieved to know that I no longer feel trapped in these words that I recently found in an old journal:

“If given a choice, I’d much rather not look at myself in the mirror or get on the scale. I’d rather not see a photograph of me or see my reflection over the water. I hate the way that I look. Sigh.”

Over the last several years, I have done the holy work of transforming how I see myself. Five years ago, I shared my health journey via blogging and social media; that was huge for me, I shared information about my diet/lifestyle changes and subsequent weight loss – 65 lbs. Later, I consciously looked at myself in the mirror and actively re-framed how I saw myself. I stopped calling myself fat and started seeing beauty in the person I was. Quietly, I began seeing myself as an Amazon Woman – strong, vibrant, healthy, and physically beautiful. I grew to really love me! And selfies, I learned not only how to take selfies, but to revel in how good I sometimes looked in those photos. I started having fun seeing myself in a photo.

In the midst of my transformation, one of the world’s most radiant souls entered my world.  It was truly an accidental meeting. While living in Tucson, I decided that I had to find a source for purchasing fair trade clothing. Via the internet I found a little photography/dance studio that sold the clothing. The only problem was that the studio was in the midst of transitioning the clothing to another location. I was so bummed because I couldn’t figure out where to find the new store. Jump ahead a week or two, I found Fed by Threads (fedbythreads.com) and then I tripped over the stunning work of Jade Beall, a co-owner to this awesome business. (Note: While Jade’s work as a photographer has helped me see all women, including me, as beautiful. Fed by Threads is a business that values everyone; experiencing the warmth and care of the other co-owner Alok Appadurai has also been transformative.)

Jade was a photographer who captured so many precious women for her book, The Bodies of Mothers: A Beautiful Body Project. Each and every photo had women that were seen as beautiful for the who they were; no photo was altered in any way. The photos showed women in all their glory; stretch marks and post birth bodies alike were celebrated, as they should be.

After finding Jade’s website, http://www.jadebeall.com/, I felt like I met an angel. Not only were her photos full of love for all people, so were her words. From there I started following this incredible soul via Facebook; I couldn’t and still can’t get enough of her energy. She values people deeply; she treasures all life forces. And through viewing how Jade struggles and ultimately embraces her  own journey, I have learned to better embrace my essence and the journey that is part of my being; I have learned to see myself as beautiful.

One of my deepest disappointments about leaving Tucson was leaving Jade Beall without having her photograph me. And I am hoping that the day comes when I can have that opportunity. This amazing photographer has helped heal so many of my open wounds. How awesome to know that I am not alone; there is a stunning tribe of women who have emerged from her love and guidance, her insight and wisdom. It is, in large part, through her work and the love of her Facebook community that I have evolved to where I am today.

I still have a lot of work to do. Transformation is a continuous process.

A car accident this past December triggered a downward spiral that lasted too long. Suddenly I had to face my old demons as my body image plummeted. I stopped taking good care of my body and gained some previously lost weight. Fortunately, over the last several weeks I am again re-framing how I see myself and starting to take control of my health journey. As long as I actively take care of me, I am better able to boost my confidence while becoming more grounded.

The journey is not only about making better life choices, it is also about taking time for my soul through writing, chanting, drumming, and just allowing creativity to flow through me. I am so excited to be emerging from my darkness!!! I am returning to healthier choices and nurturing the woman I am. And I am also reaching out to new and old friends; I am asking for what I need and feeling supported in return.

An important part of my returning to a better place was not about all the changes I was making. Before I could evolve, I had to find my own beauty that what not wrapped up in what the scale told me. I had to love the person – inside and out.

Being transparent is the gift I will continue to give myself; it is ultimately how I will thrive and become a healthier me. I don’t want to hide, I want to open my arms wide and embrace the world as I am while always trying to be the best me possible.

Onward!!!!
Now & Always

 

 

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HIDING
is a way of staying alive. Hiding is a way of holding ourselves
until we are ready to come into the light.

Excerpted from CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words.
2015 © David Whyte
Spruce Knob, WV. Mark H Schneider!- Shai's cousin

Photo Courtesy: Mark H Schneider Spruce Knob, WV

This is Blog #500. Wow.

AND yesterday I hit 40,000 views of my blog! Another wow!!!

For me, writing is as important as my heartbeat or my breathing. If I am not writing, I am probably doing my own version of dying. What a gift that I am very much living!!!

For me, writing is the way I share myself fully, it is how I share my soul.  If I have taken the time to write, know that the words spoken were written from the fullness of my being in THAT moment. Writing is how I feel most comfortable in my skin.

~ ~ ~

When most people ask how any of us are, they are looking for simple responses. “Good” or “Fine” are the best answers for small talk. A quick and easy reply is what is expected.

Years ago, I determined that small talk doesn’t serve me well. Professionally and among strangers, I do what is expected; over time though, I have found ways to remain more authentic whenever possible. I have found friends and loved ones that inspire my true self to shine and for transparency.

There is a passion that runs deep within me. While people often describe me as warm and fun-loving, those that know me well know that I am much more complex than I appear at face value.  A simple description defies the essence of who I truly am.  In fact, it may be better to describe me as an similar to an onion; there are so many layers to who I am as a person.

When I connect with a soul friend, I’d rather be silent than share small talk. There is always so much going on inside my head and my heart. Life is full of ‘many moving parts’; my mind rarely quiets down.  At any given moment, I am contemplating my inner thoughts. At any given moment, I could be thinking about what is going on in my life or the lives of those I love; I may be thinking about my students, my community, or the world.  My soul friends tend to understand that my silence does not mean disinterest; it means I can’t wait until we have time to truly share.

Reality is that there are days I feel alone.  I know that my intensity is too much for my soul friends to absorb with regularity. I realize that it is through writing that I release my thoughts and I also realize that as I grow writing is not always enough; sometimes I have a deep sense of longing to share myself not only through my writing. Again, this is the gift of personal growth. There is a time for writing, a time for conversation, and a time for silence. This is called balance.

The rawness that is part of my every breath stopped being held by the container called my body. But I have learned to shed that container by allowing my passion to flow, sometimes through my tears, sometimes through my connections with others, and mostly through my fingers/hands. It is through my writing, journaling, and doodling that I find balance and that the triteness of my soul flows out into the universe. I love that I am not bound by any one way of living and communicating.

The game ‘Hide and Seek’ has empowered me to stretch and grow, to heal and thrive.  Going inward when I need to collect my thoughts, but not needing to stay there; my voice matters. . .I don’t have to hide any longer.  I still have to choose the right time to be fully present with other, to write from my heart, or to go inwards until the right forms of expression emerge.

Thanks for reading. . . .can’t wait to see what will be in the next 10, 20, 30, 50, or 500 blogs.

 

 

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Writing
the song of my heart;
the meaning of my mind; 
the feeling of my soul;
Is what makes me One.

Without writing, my life would be empty and dark.  Ever since I can remember, writing gave me what I needed so that I could be grounded.  When no one is there to listen, my pen and paper have always been willing to sit back and listen to all I needed to say. Whether my emotions are overflowing or my intensity too difficult to absorb, my writing reminds me that what I feel is ok -always.

There have been times in my life that my writing was invaded by an unwanted reader and times that my written words were ignored by people that I needed to hear my that which was imprinted on my heart.  I am not sure that there is a difference; both scenarios caused me pain.  Yet today, it doesn’t matter whether my thoughts are explored or not by others.  I write because I have no choice; it is really that simple.

As a blogger, I have learned to share from my soul’s core. Frequently, I have no idea what will emerge when I sit down to blog.  But somehow I have learned to share my heart and to manage the intensity of each piece. Mostly, I have found a healthy balance that works. Every now and then I offend someone or make someone feel uncomfortable, but that is not what I aim to do.  My hope is to make people think and inspire them to find light or goodness in the world around them. Life happens.  My aim, as a blogger, is to weave with momentary sweetness or simple insight into all that I explore.  Creating light in the darkness of life or stresses of the moment, will always be my goal as a blogger.

Writing in general is how I gaze into the world and explore my feelings and my thoughts, my hopes and my dreams; blogging is how I find my place in the world that I feel compelled to explore.

Favorite Writing Quotes:

  1. “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking, what I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear.
    ~Joan Didion
  2. Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart
    and try to love the questions themselves.
    Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be
    given you because you would not be able
    to live them. And the point is to live everything.
    Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then
    gradually, without noticing it, live along some
    distant day into the answers.
    ~Rainer Maria Rilke, Letter to a Young Poet
  3. I write for the same reason I breathe – because if I didn’t, I would die.
    ~Isaac Asimov
  4. Writing and composing is like a black hole.
    ~Paul McCartney
  5. I could not think without writing.
    ~Jean Piaget
  6. Writing is a form of prayer.
    ~Frank Kafka
  7. Writing is a struggle against silence.
    ~Carlos Fuentes
  8. I must write it all out, at any cost.  Writing is thinking.  It is more than living, for it is being conscious of living.
    ~Anne Morrow Lindbergh
  9. First, I do not sit down at my desk to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or need to write about it. We do not write in order to be understood; we write in order to understand.”
    ~C. S. Lewis
  10. If you do not breathe through writing, if you do not cry out in writing, or sing in writing, then don’t write, because our culture has no use for it.
    ~Anais Nin

May my writing always be part of my life’s journey.

Whether you are just reading this one blog or whether you have been follow my blog for any part of the last eight years – thank you.  Thank you for reading the ramblings of my heart!

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

Morning Pages Open

 

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“We are all here for some special reason.
Stop being a prisoner of your past.
Become the architect of your future.”
R
obin Sharma, Author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari

Each year during the Jewish month of Elul (usually in August) through Rosh HaShana, we take the time to do a cheshbon hanefesh, an inventory of our soul.  For me that means taking the time to reflect deeply about the gifts and challenges of the last year, but this is also simply a kinetic time of year. As a Jewish professional, I am working to prepare the community for new beginnings which include the High Holy Days, school, and new programming.  As a mother, I am helping my now mostly grown sons begin their next chapters.  And in the midst of all this, I am usually feeling the need to write and look inward.

The holidays themselves are not easy for me because it is challenging to stay in a spiritual space when you are in charge of so many logistics. Yet the moment Tashlich occurs, I realize that I need to take time to go onward and allow for reflection.  Tashlich is a ritual which usually takes place on first day of Rosh Hashanah in the late afternoon.  During this time the participants symbolically cast off their sins by gathering along the banks of a river, stream, or the like and reciting prayers of repentance.  While many people choose to do this ritual in community, I love to do it alone.

And this year, I have decided to create Tashlich moments again and again.  This is a year of letting go, of saying good-bye to what was and embracing the beauty that is. In the last several months, I have been blessed to rethink my career path, my relationships, and much of my life.  None of this is easy, but it has been made easier because of my private journaling, my very public blogging, and some very beautiful friends.  I haven’t been alone and yet I have needed to spend a lot of time alone as a way of giving myself the room to gaze deeply into my soul.

On a good day, the journaling strikes chord after chord, but this doesn’t happen all the time or even most of the time.  More often than not, I am left with a rhythm that isn’t quite working for me.  I am a work in progress. At times the work has been bitter sweet; sometimes it is actually heart wrenching; and once the puzzle pieces come together, it can be beautiful.  Soul-searching is an art form and I am learning with each breath I take.

Writing  is the most profound tool that helps me find center, but that isn’t my only means to finding balance.  My world is full of chanting, drumming and physically moving (sometimes dance and sometimes hiking).  In the midst of all the soul work, my sons keep me grounded and remind me that while I have a lot of work to do, I am actually doing well!  My world is in fact quite amazing; I have all that I need and much of what I want.

As fortunate as I am, there is still work to be done. One way of moving forward is to create Tashlich moments by letting go of all that is holding me back.  Last night, it meant that it was time to get rid of a ton of clutter; I deleted thousands of emails from personal and professional relationships that no longer served me well.  In most cases, it was simply about not needing those particular emails; in other cases it was time to say good-bye to old connections. The delete button became a co-conspirator in propelling to close some doors as a way to open new doors. The goal is to make room for my next chapters and to celebrate what is.

As I woke up this morning, I was acutely aware that there was a shift within me.  The rays of sunlight were slowly warming me up and nudging me toward the many gifts that are very much a part of my life today. I am feeling (perhaps) like a butterfly as it begins to take flight.  Last night, I said good-bye to the cocoon that was binding in a myriad of ways.  With each passing moment, the bindings release and my wings are spreading; there is no turning back for me.

Support for my Tashlich moment when I opened up Facebook this morning to find the photo of  the Topsail Island beach where a group of my close friends are gathering this week.  While I am not with them physically, the photo reminded me that I am not alone.  Once I saw that photo, I realized that outside my front door is the space to create my own Tashlich moment.

Onward with love, light, and blessings,
Chava

Topsail, NC Courtesy of Tamar BenArdout

Topsail, North Carolina – Courtesy of Tamar BenArdout

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“Writing is like breathing, it’s possible to learn to do it well, but the point is to do it no matter what.”
~Julia Cameron,
The Right to Write: 
An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life

December Sunset

LightWave Journey, my blog, was created as a tool for finding light with each step of life’s journey.

I love the power of weaving words together.  Each word has the power to supply food for thought.  I actively strive to be impactful. Sometimes I succeed; often I don’t quite make it.  But the power of blogging is that I can go back and edit my thoughts and openly rethink my ideas. The bottom-line is that it is all about writing.

Mostly I don’t know who reads my blog; on a rare occasion, a post I have written gets 100 or even 200 hits. I am always touched when someone stops me and says that my writing has been inspirational.  Or when someone stops me and shares a story that they just needed to share.

My fingers have always helped me to explore the wild web of my thoughts.  I am a seeker who aspires to find sparks within the world I live.  Challenging times happen; tragedy and pain emerge with and without warning. My hope is to always find sparks even if only in the briefest of moments.

I was a born writer. From my earliest days, I remember dreaming that I would touch people with my words.  I used to think I would write children’s books, later I wanted to be a powerful journalist. Most of my life I have kept journals and today I dream of writing two books.  One of the books is being rooted from my blog and the other one is in the midst of being birthed; I will share more when the time is right.

Today writing is a springboard for the holy work I hope to one do and perhaps that I have already begun to do.  With every ounce of my being, I want my written voice to inspire others that are on their own journey. Sometime in my  teens, I figured out that each of life’s storms gave me kindle to ignite my words which would ultimately become my strongest tool towards healing.

My earliest years were filled with destructive storms and impenetrable darkness; my adult years included blocks of health challenges for people I adored. Life is what it is.  The gift is that I have ALWAYS strived to find the gifts within the challenges.  That is how I walk through the world; may I always do so!

Being transparent about my thoughts, my dreams, my hopes, and my memories is what I do! My fingers are the tool that I use to dig down deep into my soul and allow my being to emerge.

Many years ago, my journals became compromised due the the act of someone close to me.  The devastation left me unable to write again for many months; I just couldn’t do it.  Until the day that Dovi, my then 9 year old looked at me with tears in his eyes and told me that I needed to write.  My little boy knew that I would not emerge from my then darkness without taking my time to write.

For many months following that time, Dovi would check in with me daily to make certain that I was taking time to write.  As time moved on, he would ask me if I was writing whenever I had a moment of the grumps.  Forget when I was still having PMS, I had to spend my time acting like I was writing or my son would become crestfallen.  I love how Dovi intuitively knew that my writing had a core role in my mental health; both of my sons know that now.

The funny thing is that my kids have rarely ask me details about what I write.  They trust that as long as I am taking time to write that I am balanced and feeling at peace.  I know that Aryeh sometimes checks out my blog.  And Dovi will sometimes ask me to share my short children’s stories or ask me what I am creating.  Guess I will have to always continue to write if I want the guys to be ok. 🙂

May writing, like breathing, always be an active part of my life.

With love, light, and blessings,
Chava

 

 

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Writing,
the song of my heart;
the meaning of my mind;
the feeling of my soul;
Is what makes me ONE. 

Summer2013AcrossLegs

A few weeks before the Jewish Holiday of Rosh HaShana, I was hoping and praying that my blog would hit 30,000 hits before the first of the year. It didn’t.  And then my older son said he thought I would hit 30,000 views by Yom Kippur, but I had given up.  Instead I wanted to forget the number of people reading my blog and focus on my contemplative writing.  The funny thing is that, in the end, my son was right – I will reach my goal.  And while reaching for my current goal, I remembered why I write and continued on that journey.

Writing jazzes my soul, nourishes my body, and makes it possible for me to breathe.  I love writing; without it, my life would be empty.

Blogging has helped to give my writing feet.  I am eternally grateful for that gift and for those that take time to read my ramblings.  While I will always love to write, it does become a little more energized when I know I am touching people with my words.

Just want to say a little thank you to you, the reader.  I couldn’t have reached the nearly 30,000 views.

May I be worthy of reaching more and more people with my writing; may I make a difference for good with my words.

With blessings & light,
Chava

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