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Posts Tagged ‘being’

 

yesterday was one of the most surreal days in a long time.
the day started with excitement permeating the core of my being. i was stretching and looking for ways that i would move mountains. and for a few hours i believed that it was actually possible. i knew i could make the world a better place.
earlier steps were greeted with sweet successes. both of my sons met their own personal milestones. i found manageable tools to lessen my carbon footprint. my voice was heard and valued. i doodled, i wrote, and i dreamed.
the day progressed. . . .
as the afternoon raged on, pain oozed into my body. still i pushed because that is the gift i always have. i can always push forward. for the most part, i have been blessed with the ability to ignore physical and emotional strife….so I did.
late afternoon turned dark so very quickly. i couldn’t close my eyes to what was rumbling in my gut. beautiful activists were attacked as they nonviolently tried to make a difference. my son and i hit a wall that seems to be impenetrable.  and as the day wore on, the pain forced me to meet my shadow.
the day progressed. . . .
yet somehow things emerged in surprising ways. in spite of a bunch of comedy of errors, a challenging appointment worked two hours late. despite feeling disconnected from those i wanted to join, twitter made sure i wasn’t alone. twitter also helped keep my fear at bay while making sure i didn’t feel like a water logged island.
returning home, pain inched through my body and i started wondering if a water logged island would be easier than the crippling energies of people that attack by accusing those that believe differently.  all the while my gut was screaming that something is so wrong. . .i just didn’t and still don’t know what.
the day progressed. . . .
with each breath, i struggled as the lasso got tighter and tighter. spiritually a new set of realizations struck an unsuspecting chord. my spirit emerged to new realities. harsh and discerning words awakened me to some new and deep reflections. and just as i found a moment of reconciliation a sharp realization shattered my unsuspecting lungs.
each breath lead to new realities making sleep an impossibility. perhaps a new life force will lift my spirit at daybreak, but for now i will remain present with tears rolling down my face.
feeling silenced in nearly every aspect of life enables the hot tears to scorch my skin and help me forget that breathing isn’t optional.
waiting for the the sun to rise and a new day to remind me that one hard day can never destroy my spirit. i am alive and i will thrive. thriving is not optional either.
Oct 20 - sunrise Pantano Wash

Pantano Wash, Tucson Arizona

 

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Life is full of cycles.

Birth and death.  Beginnings and endings.   Between beginnings and endings, there are many moving parts that need to be navigated.

Tonight as I look at the beautiful full moon, I am amazed at how much I treasure the full moons that I see month after month.  I am truly in love with the cycle of the moon, the cycles of life.

Photograph courtesy of Wicca Davidson

Photograph courtesy of Wicca Davidson

As this afternoon turned into evening, we began celebrating another cycle, Tu B’Shevat.  Every 15th of Shevat, the birthday of the trees, the Jewish people take note of all that our trees have to offer.  People aren’t the only ones to have a life cycle, every living thing on this earth does.    Are we doing enough for the trees, for the world around us, and for ourselves.

With the darkness tonight, I found myself reflective about the gifts and the challenges that come with the cycles of life.  Everything we do matters; everything can impact what comes later.

Thirty-four days from now, I will celebrate my 48th birthday.   If I want to live life fully, it is time for me to actively engage in growing the healthier cycles and releasing those cycles that don’t serve me well any longer.

Echo.

Choosing to live life fully and with a smile on my face means that I will also feel happier and see many smiles in return.  Whatever we do reflects back to us, like a mirror reflects the images in front of it.

So now is the time for me to remember to treasure my own body, my mind, and my soul, as much as I love the moon.  It is time for me to again care for my entire being by writing more, eating better, laughing deeply, chanting intensely. teaching soulfully, and really being all that I can be.  There are so many parts of my being; so many parts of my soul that need to be tapped.

Echo.

Only as I live more authentically will positive reverberate into my being and to the world that surrounds me too.

“Dance of Emergence” is what I am calling this journey.  My hope is that as the new moon comes next month, that I am more actively engaged in nurturing my body, my mind, and my soul.  Starting now. . .it is time to celebrate every step of my life by more fully embracing where I am and where I am going.

l’Chayyim! To Life!!

 

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