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Archive for February, 2018

Today is Day 12 of My Selfie Challenge. This is my time to look at how I walk in the world and to shake loose from some of the very things that bind my spirit.  And if I am going to be really truthful, it is my hope that as I take each photo, I will learn to be just a little happier with the person that I am. As a seeker, it is my time to find the beauty that is me.

This I believe: Everything is temporary.

Today is Ash Wednesday.
We are reminded that we are mere mortals.

Today 17 people left there homes expecting to return home after school/work.
Over the coming days, 17 family units and countless students will bury their loved ones and friends.

Today, I woke up feeling more alive and full of life than I have felt in weeks.
Tonight I am aware that I need to hold that feeling in my heart, my mind, and my soul.

Day 12Tomorrow is not a given. This I have learned time and time again. After seeing what was probably a fatal accident years ago I wrote Sometimes There Are No Tomorrows –  https://wp.me/pthnB-5i

This means I have to live life with two eyes wide open, my arms stretching out to the universe, and my spirit ready for all that will come my way.

Sometimes there really are no tomorrows. . . .so today I have to live the best way I can.

Sending love, light, and blessings,
Chava

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Introduction:

Today is Day 11 of My Selfie Challenge. This is my time to look at how I walk in the world and to shake loose from some of the very things that bind my spirit.  And if I am going to be really truthful, it is my hope that as I take each photo, I will learn to be just a little happier with the person that I am. As a seeker, it is my time to find the beauty that is me.

The only journey is the one within.”
~Ranier Maria Rilke

The journey within is one of the most profound treks we take.  The range of feelings and emotions can be intense. The confines of our mind have the ability to empower us to soar or to take a deep dive into despair or every emotion in the middle.

Without a doubt, I believe that life can be really messy with every gift and challenge that emerge. So with that in mind, I tried to allow for a quieter day today; I wanted to honor my life on my birthday.

My day was really not what I expected. I wanted to be outside hiking around and/or sitting in a cafe totally breathing in the smell, breathing deeply, and writing for hours. Instead I worked for a good part of the day, felt cold and achy from the cold rain at times, and connected with my family in Israel and a couple of other dear friends.  AND I sat in a chair and drank a hot cup of tumeric and ginger tea, I pulled some weeds outside with my dogs doing everything they could to distract me, and allowed for moments of quiet to settle my kinetic soul.

A good part of the day was taken up with reflection about what I want and need so that I am in the healthiest place I can be this year. What do I need to do to beautify this life I am living. I realized that I had to do a little more grounding work so that I could soar and better reach some of my long term goals.

Day 11BThe universe is ready for me. Am I ready to show up and give the world the best parts of me and the fullness of my spirit? I think I am. I am also willing to be challenged and to challenge as long as it is with good intention. Holy living is worth it!

Yes life is hard, but it is also exceedingly precious.  One of the most treasured realizations that I have from the last two days that I should have taken completely off is that I need to celebrate the moments. While I didn’t get to have hours in the woods, I took time to talk Torah and philosophy, to breathe in the scent of our puppy and snuggle with both of our dogs, and to take a couple of long walks too.

I didn’t write. . . .not until 10 PM tonight, but what I did was far better I just moved my body, my mind, and my soul in whatever way it needed to move at any given moment.

My birthday was perfect in nearly every way.  What a beautiful way to celebrate my life.

Sending love, light, and blessings . . . . .

PS: AND to make it even more special, I received nearly 250 birthday wishes from nearly every stage of my life. #GratitudeAbounds

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Introduction:
Today is Day 10 of My Selfie Challenge. This is my time to look at how I walk in the world and to shake loose from some of the very things that bind my spirit.  And if I am going to be really truthful, it is my hope that as I take each photo, I will learn to be just a little happier with the person that I am. This is my time for me to really see myself!

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakens. 
~ Carl Jung 

Sometimes we find the perfect words in the perfect moment. Today was one of those days. First I received my first birthday wish; it was a day early and it totally warmed my heart. And then there was the quote above.

As a steady seeker, I have learned to look inside myself. It is this work that keeps me grounded and focused on staying on a derekh, a path, that will ultimately or continuously jazz my soul. I really do honor where I am.  While I can’t always speak from my heart, I am getting better and better at living authentically.

The more “real” I am, the more awake I become. Holy living is my goal. With every breath, I hope to become more and more true to my spirit. For me this means that sometimes I have to reach outward and share the fullness of who I am, sometimes I need to go inward and allow for the silence, and sometimes I have to be ok with simply not trying so hard.

Day 10Today was one of those days, I needed the day off, but somehow that didn’t happen and it won’t tomorrow either. Still I found pockets of time to go inward, to laugh out loud, and to do what I had to do.

And while I am wiped out, I am also feeling very much alive. I think taking the time to learn with my Monday Morning Torah Study group and time to play with Magic (my new pup) and Maddie, M & M for short. Life is good, but this year, I really do need to learn to rest and play better. That is my work!!

Sending love, light, and blessings. . . .

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My pup with no name has added so much to my life. While the first days/weeks are a lot of work, they are also a ton of laughter and even more joy.

This afternoon, I was jazzed to finally take a couple of selfies with our sweet pup. I believe that he is a gift that came at the perfect moment. This became evident by how much I started to sing as soon as I knew he was coming to us.

I am not sure what I was thinking when I decided that I needed this pup or that this was the right time to train a potential therapy dog. Perhaps I am nuts or perhaps I am tapping into the divine energy that is calling me to do this. Perhaps both. . .

The time has come for deep breaths, sweet cuddles, honest seeking, and kinetic joy.  The messages have been loud and clear. I am listening. Welcome to my messy and beautiful life.

So as I do all of the above, I will also try my best to remain as present as I can. I am up for the challenge and for living life more fully not just with the pup with all life’s moving parts. I got this; we all do!

Sending love, light, and blessings. . . .

PS: Feel free to vote on the best name for Mr. Pup. Right now we are choosing between Skittles, Dreamer, and Magic

PPS: If you like this post, please let me know by liking it and/or leaving a comment.

 

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Sometimes you have to hear the messages that keep meeting you at the door, sometimes in subtle ways and sometime with this grace of an elephant walking a tightrope.

Yesterday as I was rushing around, I paused to connect with someone I know, but have barely had the opportunity to connect with before yesterday. In just 5 minutes, he tapped into my soul and reminded me that I really needed to breathe.

I listened.

Life is busy, but that doesn’t really matter – not really. What really matters is staying present for myself and possible for those that need my focus at any given moment.

Great message.

So in the last 30+ hours, I have been trying to remain present while taking time to breathe. Although I have fallen short a bunch, I have also taken a few more deep breaths too. I think I am going to call that a success.

And today, I found another great way to stay present. I pushed the envelope and invited my friends on Facebook to reflect about something that challenged many people, but not everyone. In the end, I was touched by those that took time to pause and share their thoughts. Pushing the envelope allowed me to hear some views that strengthened what I believed and to also hear very different opinions.

Another great message.

Allowing for the space to breathe, to think, and to be present really was the gift I gave myself.

Instead of trying to capture a new selfie, tonight I am leaving one of my favorite selfies of all time.  I think this is the first selfie that I literally loved! This is my way of sharing a part of me and not pushing myself to take the perfect selfie for today. 🙂

As I go to sleep for the night, I am totally feeling the blessings that come with taking time to pause and to cuddle our latest family member, a yet to be named puppy. More on the little creature in the coming days.

Until then, take time to breathe and focus on wherever you are.

Sending love, light, and blessings. . . . .

July - sun 1
Reflection Time Selfie

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Currently, I am on a journey. I am journaling 21 days of taking selfies.

If I were you, I’d be questioning why anyone would want to document their 21 days of selfies?

For me, it really isn’t so complicated.

A few years ago, I decided that while I may wrestle with excess weight, I had to begin to celebrate the beautiful woman that I am. So even when I have trouble finding my physical beauty, I have decided to keep taking photos and/or to ask those in my life to take photos of me until I capture my essence and find the beauty in front of me.

With the help of some amazing professional photographers and a growing awareness that beauty can be found in all different sized packages, I did the work of doing whatever it took to capture the beautiful soul that I am.

From an early age, my mother reminded me time and again how overweight and ugly I was. In fact that was my first, my second, and my third memory of how my mother haunted me during my childhood.  But here is the thing, my mother has been gone for nearly 28 years and I am no longer living in the shadow of her abuse. How AWESOME is that!!!

So, today, it is important that I take the time to celebrate the woman I have become. And while I am always going to be on a health journey to be in the best health I can be, I want to remind myself that I am beautiful just as I am.

Hineini, Here I am!

Sending love, light, & blessings. . . .

PS: Regardless of our past, most of us can move forward from the darkness that was once a part of our lives. . . it just takes the willingness to do the work.

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Healing happens.

Three weeks ago, I was hanging on a difficult ride. And fortunately, I did what I often do – I rode the waves and ultimately navigated to a better place. I did this because I tend to believe that:

Sometimes spirits break before healing happens. 

And for me, healing tends to be a given. Wow am I blessed.

Day 6 puppy time

Day 6 Selfie: 8 February 2018

My older son realized that once I made the final decision to get a puppy, I couldn’t stop singing and humming. I guess puppy energy is what I need right now. 🙂

Tonight, we picked up our new puppy. I am so excited and a little overwhelmed too, but we got this and I have another of pure sweetness in my home.

Nighttime may be a little stressful for all of us, but I get my cuddles, so we we will figure out how to navigate our new norm.

My spirit really did need to break before I could start to feel better. While the puppy doesn’t heal all that was troubling my spirit. It really does help!

Sending love, light, & blessings. . . .

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Don’t we all have to wear masks sometime?

Professionally, I may wear a mask every now and then. Most of the time, I am actually ok with that. In a world that I work for others and with others, I think it is wise to be willing to honor a community and work environment by stepping aside. As long as I work for others, I have to meet people  where they are with a willingness to step back. Perhaps that is what it means to function fully in the world.

Day 5

For Photo Day 5 Selfie:          7 February 2018

And yet. . . .

Being direct and authentic comes at a cost. Not everyone is comfortable with how I walk in the world. With that knowledge lurking, I do have to find ways to navigate. Aren’t we all always navigating?

My personal motto is guided by the words of Émile Zola:

“If you ask me what I came to do in this world,
I, an artist, will answer you: 
I am here to live out loud.”

May I find the balance to live out loud, be myself, and toss aside the masks – all while living consciously and thoughtfully in the world.

Looks like I have work to do!

Sending love, light, & blessings. . . .

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Day 4 - Chava Selfie

Day 4 Selfie: 6 February 2018

Blessings happen when you least expect them. Today was no different.

Somehow I found the strength to push through an exhausted day. From the moment I woke up until this moment, I have felt exhaustion coursing through my veins. At the same time, I have been able to push through and even do my selfie challenge in the last possible minute. While it  may not be posted before midnight, it will be completed. 🙂

Now that is something to be proud of.

And then there are the connections I made today. Each time I feel the most disconnected, I am surprised by who shows up. . . .today was no different.

I am tired, too tired to elaborate, but I am really happy that today I pushed through my mood and then ultimately connected with people who want to help me with Door l’Door,-my new non-profit. AND I am also having awesome experiences with my work and friendship circles too.

Tired, but happy. . . .that’s a good place to be.

Sending love, light, & blessings. . . .

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Yesterday I had the privilege of tripping over one of the most amazing and profound YouTubes (link below) I have seen in a long time. There are no words to fully describe the impact of watching it. Through his song ‘Rise’ and video, Mikey Pauker invited the listener/viewer to look inside themselves and see that we all have vulnerability and inner fears.

Throughout the song, people of varying types, backgrounds, experiences, and ages were sharing their deep rooted fears on cardboard box remnants. You have to watch the video below to fully understand.

For me, this video inspired me to be real, much like I have decided to be in this 21-Day Selfie Challenge. I am embracing the many sides of my personality and sharing how I see the world and my own life.

Day 3 - Chava Selfie B & W

Day 3 Selfie: 5 February 2018

Life is messy and sometime hard. While I may seek to live simply, very few things actually ever are. And that is ok; it is what it is.

In the song, Mikey asks us to share our deepest fears for ourselves.  Truth be told, I don’t have just one fear. My life journey has too many moving parts to just have one fear.

Feeling called to be brutifully honest.

My sign would say: I am afraid that I will never be enough, do enough, or be loved enough because I am not worthy enough.

After I posted some of these thoughts yesterday, a few of my friends made sure that I knew I was enough. Wow. . .I love that. . . I love my village.  Even though my fears are very real, know that while the inner fear sometimes roars loudly, so does my beloved friends’ reflections.

What would your sign say? I’d like to know.

#ascension #rise #emet #broughtmetotears

Sending love, light, and blessings. . . .

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