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If this is your first time reading this series of my blog, please take a moment and read the introduction Elul Journey: A New Year Is Emerging – 5775 Introduction http://t.co/Y6vmXdO6GJ
Reflection
Over the past 4 days, since Rosh Hodesh Elul (the beginning of the Jewish month of Elul), I have been actively preparing for Rosh HaShana and loving every moment of it. And then suddenly this morning as I sang some of the verses from Psalm 27*, I felt a bit bereft because for the first time in my life, I do not feel like I have a spiritual home. As a professional Jew, I have previously had communities that were easier for me to be a part of spiritually, but I have rarely felt uncomfortable in a community I have worked. Only one time, I heard a rabbi give a sermon on Yom Kippur in which he said that Tisha B’Av should be disregarded. It was the one and only time I almost walked out of High Holy Day services with my family.
Judaism is a part of my essence. I love how it fits into my life, pushes me to think, and creates a cocoon where I can live.
I am a God-Wrestler. I question, I pray, I hope, I vision and I wrestle. And on the days that I don’t quite know how God fits into my practice of Judaism, I let go and trust the universe. And throughout it all, I try to live a life of Godliness. Every place I walk is a sanctuary, so why in this moment should I feel like I have no spiritual home. The mountains and the desert are seriously my sanctuary. I love the earth; I love so many special spaces that exude God-like energy. I used to have a yoga studio that felt like God’s sanctuary. Today, there is no space that is calling me for the Rosh HaShanah, yet I have to take my kids to services for the High Holy Days.
And did I say, I literally have no money for the holidays or for much? What a concept for me. The good news is that my old ‘congregation’ of employment wouldn’t turn me a way and I believe other congregations would open their doors too, but still it is sad for me. I believe that if I weren’t a mother, I would choose to create a spiritual space by myself or with a few others. I love Judaism and I love living it!
So as I take each day of Elul to create a stronger physical and spiritual core, I am grappling with feeling like I have no place to go. And yet, in reality, I know that my sons and I will feel comfortable wherever we go. Tucson is full of loving synagogue communities. Can’t wait to hear the shofar blown as I sit within community.
Feeling blessed even as I struggle with some challenging realities. The sun and moon always shine brightly in the desert.
With blessings & light,
Chava
*From Rosh Hodesh Elul through Simchat Torah, it is part of the Jewish tradition to say Psalm 27 two times a day. Here is a link to the Psalm in Hebrew and English. http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt2627.htm
Why not create a spiritual space by yourself or with a few others? The Most High Elohim is there to look into our hearts and to stretch out His Hands for everybody who wants to come to Him. Any place is good to worship the Almighty Creator of heaven and earth. He also asks of us that we show Him our willingness to become His child and to gather with His other children.
Bringing people together to read the Torah, Nebim and Kethubim is what יהוה demands from us. Together we can help each other to get more knowledge out of the Word of G’d. Therefore why not find space and time in your house or in a public space to bring like-minded and interested people together to read the Holy Scriptures together, to discus those writings and relating it to daily life, plus saying prayers together, worshipping G’d.
You are absolutely correct!!!
The why not has more to do with ‘reality’. If I am here in this physical location, I will probably create a spiritual home in the near future; my children need a community if only a small one. Mostly my challenge is about timing of life and unemployment.
Each day when I say Psalm 27, I am touched by the idea that I want to “dwell in the house of God all the days of my life”. That really can be done anywhere.
Your reminder is beautiful and timely. Thank you!
[…] No Spiritual Home – Elul 5775 (lightwavejourney.wordpress.com) As a professional Jew, I havepreviously had communities that were easier for meto be a part of spiritually, but I have rarely felt uncomfortable in a community I have worked. Only one time, I heard a rabbi give a sermon onYomKippurin which he said that Tisha B’Av should be disregarded. It was the one and only time I almost walked out of High Holy Day services with my family.Judaism is a part of my essence. I love how it fits into my life, pushes me to think, and creates a cocoon where I can live. […]