When people die in Judaism, we often say, “may the dead person’s memory be a blessing for good.” Until tonight, I have never realized that it could make sense to say that saying for someone that causes so much pain to her only daughter. I could never say that saying myself or acknowledge it when another human being said it directly to me in reference to my mother. Today my entire opinion of the saying has changed.
Twenty-two years ago, Marilyn Bloomberg, my mother, took her very last breath; her life was full of darkness and pain (she felt it and perpetrated it) yet tonight I realized that I could say that my mother’s memory was a blessing for good. My brother and I are both alive and thriving-yay!!!!
My mother was full of darkness; she caused me substantial pain with her physical and mental cruelty. The wounds cut deep and yet I am a healthy and happy woman raising two amazing sons. I learned so much from my experience of being Marilyn’s daughter. I learned to be the beautiful soul that I am. Two years ago, I shared what I learned from my mother in my blog http://wp.me/pthnB-2o. Feel free to read.
I’d like to say that I am an easy-going soul that is successful in most every way. Instead I can say that I am fairly normal. I am creative, I am intense, and I march to my own drummer. All of that leads to a few challenges within my life. Yet I can say with a full heart, that I am who I am because I was my mother’s daughter. I am feeling blessed.
Tonight I lit a flaming red candle in honor of my mother’s yahrzeit, the anniversary of her death. I remember her. Lighting a candle that is less than traditional is a way of honoring her memory and acknowledging reality. The traditional candle could never adequately represent where I stand in Judaism or with my mother’s memory. But today I am smiling because my mother has two fantastic children and seven precious grandchildren–I’d say that Marilyn’s legacy is worth noting for good.
May my mother’s memory be a blessing for good. . . .
